Run No. 1350                2^nd August 2010

Venue:                           The Brocket Arms

Beer:                              Adnams Gunnery Point, GK IPA, St Edmunds

Location:                      Ayot St Lawrence

Hare(s):                         Porky Pie

Runners:                       29

Virgins:                           0

Visitors:                          0

Newies:                           0                                 

Hounds:                          3

Après Hashers:             0

Total:                              32

Membership:                 Ghost Busters!

The pack parked out in the lane running through the hamlet of Ayot St Lawrence, since they would have filled the Pub’s meagre car park.  The RA was feeling a bit under the weather, & having been away to the Isca Roman Away Day this had taken its toll as well. He was not the only one who looked a bit jaded as M Lil’ Sperm ‘ead had also been down at the Isca weekend!

            As the Pack gathered in the road T-B-T drove by to park on the very outskirts of the Hamlet, Windmill commented to the RA on the fact that he always seems to give T-B-T a Down-Down!  The RA explained that was because he always seems to do something stupid enough to deserve one, things like falling off of his bike etc! 

So, the RA said that he wouldn’t give T-B-T a Hit unless he really deserved it!  Mr. X then turned around to see T-B-T butt naked behind his car, his very pale posterior on show to the world! (Oh Dear!) & we thought that Porky Pie was pale of skin!

The Pack gathered together to hold the first Circle in the Pub car park.  A strange face called the Pack to order & then introduced himself as ‘Flip Top’, yes the GM was back after his absence from the previous week having been elected to carry out the functions of the GM!

Flip Top got the Run number correct, there were those who thought that his absence would have messed this up!  Porky Pie was introduced as the Hare, & Pepé le Pew got his first Ginger insult in before he could start his spiel about what the Pack could expect to encounter out on the Trail! 

Pepé le Pew did say at the AGPU that he wouldn’t be surprised if Porky Pie would lump him one, one day!  [It may not be Porky Pie that does it! - Ed]

Anyhow, the Hare said that it was typical Herts Trail, set in flour & that it wasn’t that long as it was getting dark when he was laying the Trail & he got slightly lost!  For those who had been away it was music to their ears!  Then the Pack were directed around to the left to start the Trail & soon passed by the partly demolished old St Lawrence Church.

            The Dust led out though a gate in to Ayot Park & over the fallow grass paddocks behind the Second Church in the village, with its Palladian style of Doric columns, this was built in 1778 after Sir Lionel Lyde had part of the old St Lawrence Church demolished as it spoilt the view from his home!  He could afford to build such a large oddity as he made his fortune from the slave trade!

            Sludge was soon away from the first CHK & heading out over through the adjacent sheep paddock on the footpath to Abbotshay, but as he did so “On!” was called from behind the copse beside the Church grounds, & this was the correct way!  The Trail headed out on path bordered with nettles that runs behind the Church, ARP warned of the nettles & the RA calmed the rest by informing everyone that they don’t sting at this time of year!   The Trail ran crossed the car park to ran over a small open space to find a CHK on the corner of Prior’s wood.

            The Trail would now turn southward & down to Bibbs Hall lane, an arrow directed the Hash almost straight across the lane, Pepé le Pew wanted Koda to jump the stile, but Koda just looked at trying to squeeze his large frame through the narrow gap in the slats, it wasn’t going to work.  Even after he had said that he wasn’t going to carry Koda over the stile, guess what?  Pepé le Pew ended up hauling the bear like canine over the stile.

The footpath ran down beside Ayot farm & then in to Harepark Spring wood. Here the first Held CHK was found, & it was here that Flip Top’s new shoes were pointed out by My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, "Box fresh" is the expression given to the state they were in!  Flip Top’s protestations fell on deaf ears!

Pepé le pew was off along the option to the east, & the RA was following on as “On!” was called from that route, but then another call of “On!” emanated from the other direction!  Pepé & Koda were soon coming back, having found a T!

Now the Pack were making their way along through the woodland then out toward the more open ground on a fairly long stretch.  A CHK was found ere quickly away on the path that carried straight on but they would soon be back, so they had a second attempt & nipped off down the path toward Bibbshall farm, just before Princess arrived with Jaron in his buggy.

Ewok, Back Pack, Pebble Dash, Puddles & Spillage all managed to get past the buggy as well as they trotted along behind the FRBs, who were just about to stop as they found they had been caught out for the second time by the Hare!

            Those catching up from falling foul at the previous CHK, now took full advantage that they hadn’t searched either of the option, they were soon following on behind Sludge who was well on his way down the third option down by Lamar wood!  As the RA was halfway along this section of the Trail, he had to briefly stop for a good old cough up.  Charming!

The path the Trail took to turned & soon became enclosed on either side with brambles, dog roses & hazel, Spare Rib said that it was the wrong time of year to run this area, in the autumn it would be better as the blackberries would be out & he could go a fruit picking.  As Bus Stop pointed out, he could have had some big old Rosehips there & then if he wanted to do some foraging, though the Hazelnuts looked a bit on the green side.

Bus Stop recalled having Rosehip syrup as a kid, but she added it seems these days they don’t sell it as it rots kids’ teeth due to the amount of sugar, Mr. X added that he made rosehip wine!

But soon the talk stopped as the Hash had to crouch right down to get beneath the low hanging dog rose runners, & brambles along the route, this was hard work for some & there were a few groans.  En route Windmill & Bus Stop stopped for a bit of Twitching.

The Pack came out on to drive way around the front of Brides Hall, & at this junction another Held CHK was found.  Once the Back markers were at the CHK, the Keenies were let loose with My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead taking to the farm track, while Flip Top chose to search around the elbow of the drive back toward Gustard wood lane!  My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead called on but so did Pepé le Pew & Co, who were out on their way across to the more open fields of Lamer Park, there was no having to lift the ‘hound of the le Pew’s’ this time!

A straight forward run saw the Hash run toward Brides hall, but it seems that someone was out to spoil the Hash’s fun as they had destroyed the Trail, fortunately it was along the straight part so there was little opportunity for anyone to turn off the chosen route by mistake.  Porky Pie was also sweeping & setting fresh Trail so the knitting circle, Sis & Psycho, would not go astray if they took their eyes off of the matter in hand.

As the Trail approached the house, the gardens became more ornate & as the Pack made their way around to the frontage they spotted a couple of deer made from some kind of reeds, a few mentioned that it was a shame that No Eye Deer wasn’t there to see this, since they don’t move at all!

The Trail led around from the House & away through a plantation & out of the drive way by the ornate gates of Bride Hall, thought Spare Rib & Flip Top looked on at the closed Iron gates not seeing that there was a narrow door hidden in the design!

Once out on to Bride’s Hall lane there was only one way to go for those with local knowledge it was a straight choice of following the lane back to the north, where it came out by the end of George Bernard Shaw’s old home, the option of the footpath off to the south east was immediately ignored as those in the know, knew how long it was & that it led away from the On Inn.

George Bernard Shaw move to what would become known as ‘Shaw’s Corner’ in 1906, he lived & worked there until his death at the age of 94 in 1950!  Mr. X also explained it was GBS & his wife who bought the motorcycle for TE Lawrence (of Arabia), which he was killed riding!  Lawrence’s ghost is said to haunt the place.

The Pack arrived back after a three & a half mile trot, just under the hour, which was plenty enough as it was a fairly dry & sultry day.  It was the right length for those who had survived another Isca Roman away weekend!  Fartin Martin arrived back, having completed the Trail after a late start, though there were disbelievers that he had been round! 

As the Pack sat down to enjoy an Ale at this reputedly haunted Pub, it seemed like the Hash was being haunted but Hyena sniffed out the problem of the pong that drifted about the back garden, “Blocked fatty drains!” he declared, nice! 

Apparently the Brocket Arms is really haunted by the spirit of an old Monk, seems Herts Hash have something in common then as sometimes we have a ghostly white figure, which occasionally manifests itself in our presence & makes strange wailing noises!

There were a few moans about the Trash not being correct, with the phone numbers not matching the names of the new committee!  Well the answer is stop complaining & you have a go your self, as the current Scribe is a bit inundated at the moment & things aren’t going to get any easier for the next year!  Considering he only had a couple of free evenings to attempt to write the Trash & had come almost directly from Isca to this evening’s Trail, it wasn’t a bad job!

Anyhow, less of the bitching!

The new GM [Don’t you mean old -Ed] took a long while before he remembered that he had to call the Circle to order, then he toasted the Hash & it was over to the RA!

The Hare was rewarded for setting a great Trail, as he was handed his pint the RA asked Porky Pie flew over the area to get an Arial view of the Trail’s route?  He claimed that he didn’t!

With the Horrors present at this week’s Trail, the RA found it hard to come up with Down-Down songs that aren’t rude.  Even Spare Rib came to a drought of songs that don’t have any rude bits in them.  Even though T-B-T tried to egg him on for more songs, it wasn’t easy for Spare Rib.

George Bernard Shaw lived in these parts, another famous writer was HG Wells who wrote the Island of Dr Moreau, about experiments on humans & animals, resulting in some grotesque monster on the loose, which reminded the RA of getting back from the Trail to see Koda trying to mount young girl!

T-B-T Mooning was called out but only received a wishy-washy hit for his mooning; Back Pack was out with Ewok, after he had complete 200 Herts Runs, some of which he was carried around in his mum’s tum!  Ketch Up’s Down-Down was awarded to him as he couldn’t recall an old picture of himself in a B & B in Aberdeen, about 8 years ago, no surprise there then!

Flip Top got the Hashit for failing to attend the next Hash after being Elected GM, but he had to take his trainer from out of the plastic bag it was hiding in after Spare Rib had reminded everyone about the new footwear!