Run No. 1352              16th August 2010

Venue:                          The Jester

Beer:                              Green King IPA

Location:                      Barnet

Hare(s):                         Mouthful

Runners:                       20

Virgins:                            0

Visitors:                           0

Newies:                            0                                 

Hounds:                           2

Après Hashers:              0

Total:                              22

Membership:                Going Loopy!

An emergency Hare was called in to set this week’s Trail, Windmill had set a Trail & handed on the instructions to Mouthfull, but he had a change of heart as he knew that the plan to run through Trent Park would clash with Wednesday’s Enfield Hash!  But, as Mark E Mark rightly pointed out, Herts were running on Monday & Monday comes before Wednesday!

            No Eye Deer was among the early arrivals, but unlike Mr. X, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Hyena, she didn’t join the Hare in having a pint outside on this lovely summers day.  These four were soon entertained by the arrival of 2-1-2 Maureen & then Sloppy Seconds in his ‘Fanny Magnet’!  Lofty arrived with her new hound, Henry the Dog!

The Pack were surprised when the Mitchell Brothers (Mark E Mark & Ketch up arrived before the Circle was called & the Pack had run away, mind you it was Mark E Mark’s turn to drive, otherwise if it was down to Ketch Up they wouldn’t have!

            Ketch Up was asked why Princess hadn’t come along with them, he said that she had look at the Jester on T’internet & was none too keen on what she saw, which was a shame as although its design is clearly that of an estate pub, it has a proper Public Bar, as Public Bars should be with linoleum flooring etc & a comfortably furnished Saloon Bar.  It may have only had the one Real Ale on, IPA, but it was kept really well & even those who don’t particularly like IPA enjoyed this!

With the absence of the GM, which is going to be a common occurrence in the upcoming months, the JM had to stand in & introduce the Pack to the correct Run Number.  The RA had to tell Paxo what the number was & this seemed to irk My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, who obviously want to see Paxo in the centre après Trail Circle!

            Mouthfull was introduced to the Pack, he told them that False Trails were distinguished by an X at their end, the Trail was in both one sided arrows & flour.  His final comment was that it wasn’t much of a Trail, but the RA said the Pack would be the judge of that when they returned!

            The Majority of the Pack started the Trail & soon found themselves running up Langford road, where they passed by an MG B that Sloppy Seconds didn’t see! [A proper British Fanny Magnet! - Ed]. The Trail then ran down along one edge of the green triangle leading to the start of Mountpleasant, but the Trail soon switched over to run through the centre of the roundabout.

Emerging from between the trees on this traffic Island, the RA noticed that there were those who had taken the official Short Cut were still loitering in front of the Pub.  The noticeable exception was Zing-a-long-a-max, who was seen top be fiddling with some technology, he’s only gone & got himself a GPS!

The Trail now took to Northfield road, where a CHK was found by the start of an alleyway, only T-B-T, Zing-a-long-a-max, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, Mark E Mark, & Ketch Up took the long route out to Games road & around on to the track that is the old Baker’s Hill road through in to Hadley Wood, meanwhile everyone else took the short cut of using the cut through at the end of Somercoats Close to a Held CHK just within the wood.

When he arrived at the Held CHK, it was pointed out to Ketch Up that his ‘Dad’, T-B-T, had got around the loop before he did!  Then the Pack found them selves running in to the wood, following the Arrows in amongst the trees & holly bushes that cover the area off of the beaten track!

It soon became clear that this would be a tricky old Trail as the Keenies looped around to come back to the main path through the wood.  There would be many more little excursions off in to the undergrowth as the Trail progressed down to the fishing lake, where the shocked fisher folk looked around to see what all of the calling “On! On!” was about!

As the arrows pointed in a clockwise direction around part of the lakes edge, another little loop was put in, this made My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead go in to ‘Sludge Mode’ as he carried on beyond the next arrow that directed the Hash down to a shallow part of the Pymms Brook.  He was soon called back as the Trail did run down & through the shallow stream.

Spare Rib was happy to sprint across this water crossing without getting his feet wet, most of those who took a running leap at it only had to put one foot down to span the gap from one bank to the other!  Spare Rib was learning a few things about an area not far from where he was brought up, just goes to show that the Hash can be educational!

The arrows led over the main spine of a track from north to south through the wood, the Keenies were soon through a kissing gate & out beneath the ‘under construction’ carbuncle of a bridge for a new access road in to the end of the School grounds & once back to the footpath’s original route beside the Livingstone School’s hedge they found it to be false!

After a turn around the Trail now headed up the steps & over the sluice to take to a path out to the fallow fields south of Hadley Golf Course.  Another Held CHK was found out on the open area, the popular choice of heading back in to Hadley Wood proved to be false, as Ketch Up would soon discover!

The Hare had set the Trail to take the FRBs out along one of the mown paths in amongst the tall, brown, wispy grass, then, they turned to the east & began a loop around back to the west!  The RA had foreseen this coming, but he still went around with it, in the company of My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, T-B-T, Ketch Up, Irian Jaya, Skip & Paxo with Belle.  While this was happening, Henry did what dogs do best & stopped to have a good sniff about in the long grass.

No Eye Deer, Party Animal, 2-1-2 Maureen, Spare Rib & Mark E Mark all managed to take the short cut with the Hare as the Trail now headed toward the northwest corner & back in to the woodland.  Again the Hare had set various traps, notably CHK Back 3’s for the Keenies, which were soon called a pair of boobs & so it was deemed to be a Ladies CHK but the girls just ignored this comment!  More loops & Falsies ensured that the Pack were still together at this stage of the Trail.

Now the Trail passed came out of the wood & made its way around the very exclusive area of Hadley Wood, but there was not time to admire the homes on Covert way as the Trail soon disappeared back in to the woodland once more.  The Trail ran in to an open space within the wood, where a Bloke was seen mowing wild grass over at one end, was this a fire precaution or was he just plain mad?

Now the Keenies found Trail leading along beside a wire fence within the wood, they soon found it to be a Falsie & were heading back toward two kissing gates further up to the north, once through the gate & the FRBs soon found that they were running on a path parallel to the one that they had been on before on the opposite side of the wire!

Another loop around on the leaf litter brought the Hash to a set of steps leading down to another dead part of Baker’s Hill lane, those with local knowledge instinctively too to the tarmac route leading up to the bridge over the Kings Cross mainline.  Once over the arched bridge an arrow directed then into the wood on the north of the road!

Just inside the corner of the wood another Held CHK was found, the Pack weren’t here for long as everyone was keeping up with the Pace, even Hyena!  When the Pack were let off to search again, calls of “On!” came from more than one direction, not for the first time either!

While Zing-a-long-a-max, Skip, Irian Jaya looked out toward the north again, Mr. X searched up along the inside of the wood on the western part of the dead end Bakers Hill lane.  He found Trail & this was the right route but Mark E Mark had strayed out on to the tarmac of the lane & picked up the arrows heading back down to the Railway bridge!

The Hare was not amused at Mark E Mark’s stumbling across the Trail, which meant the RA would have continued a lot further up the hill before coming out on to the lane & turning back.  The RA was happy that he was saved from this as he’s not a fell runner!

As the Trail turned back, No Eye Deer asked where the Hash was, she was living up to her name & said that she would have to use one of the Arial maps that are available out there on T’internet! 

2-1-2 Maureen was unimpressed when the RA said “Good, let’s start heading back as it’s ten to the hour & the Pub’s still open!”  She replied to this with an “All you ever think about is Beer!”  This isn’t exactly true as Sex comes in to the equation quite a lot!   But we’re some times called a “Drinking Club with a Running Problem!”

The Dust took the Pack through the scrubby area by the car park & out on to the edge of the East Barnet Golf course.  Here many of the Pack obeyed the Hare, as he quoted Windmill on his previous Trails set around this neck of the woods of “Keep to the edge of the golf course!

The Trail now took to a familiar route of the footpath that runs just below the railway embankment & runs all the way back in to New Barnet. 

The Pack had again picked up, Hyena was running & a sit was down hill Mark E Mark warned others not to get in his way, it was like the scene in Raiders of the lost Ark when the huge ball comes rolling out through the passes & chases Indiana Jones at the beginning of the film!

A CHK was put in beside the homes of Galdana road, Skip took to this & he was closely followed by Sloppy Seconds, My Lil Sperm ‘ead was more reluctant as he had been caught out enough times by the Hare, his hesitance paid off as it turned out to be another decoy!

The Trail continued down to a CHK by the steps up the embankment to a tunnel passing beneath the railway line.  There were a few groans as Mr. X & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead climbed the steep steps & gingerly (that’s for Pepé le Pew) made their way through the litter strewn tunnel, toward the old Gasometer which was looking decidedly deflated.  They picked up the Trail & as they ran on toward the steps at the end of the wire encoded bridge from the tunnel, they were stopped in their tracks by the last of the Back CHKs & this one was for three Hashers!   By now saying that

            One of the three of the first to this didn’t want to play anymore & he said “I’ve had enough of this!”& carried on through the CHK & down the Steps into Victoria Park!  Meanwhile Mr. X was running up to the Hare, so the Hare slowed up as Mr. X was making out that running back to the Hare was like passing the baton in a relay race!

Once down in Victoria Park the Pack were soon spread all across the green in hope of picking up the Trail instead of following the clearly marked arrows down the tarmac footpath to the right, & the club house of Windmill’s r*nning club!

             Indeed the Trail was intercepted further around the Trail, & then it was lost just as quickly as some believed that it would head down to the fountain at the end of the tennis courts.  Instead the Trail would leave the park at the corner on the opposite end of the tennis courts!

Once out on to the end of Lawton road, the FRBs had to watch themselves as a woman driver came flying around from Baring road & cut the corner a bit sharp!  Arrows directed the Hash over the footbridge across the Pymms brook, Mr. X was surprised to see Skip running up from PARK road to the right, this was explained due to the fact that Skip had continued on down the footpath by the railway & in to New Barnet on what is best described as a long cut!

It was here that the Hare explained that he thought that Herts used the CHK Back numbers, but this is rarely used on Herts & is the type of nasty trick that H⁵ pull on their Pack.  A joint Run was the last time this was used & this where that Hare picked this up from!

The On Inn was found on the crossing of the brook, now the Hash only had to make the steep climb up Grove road To come in to the Pub, to finish a very good run of just on the hour & one that caught out those who have run around here many times before!

With no Horrors present this week, Spare Rib came into his own as he was asked to get the pack singing a few more adult songs to accompany the Down-Downs!

The Hare received his for his for setting a fine Trail, Zing-a-long-a-max was out to receive his 200^th Run Hat, as well as having technology on the Trail that didn’t work as the batteries had gone flat! 

No Eye Deer was out for being 50 pence short in the takings, which it turns out was down to Spare Rib who thought it was only £1 subs, she was joined by Skip who had forgotten the old Hash Cash purse & had given her a Chinese style purse that looked like it belonged to a pantomime character of Twidow Wankey!

Sloppy Seconds was awarded his hit for bitching about not being mentioned in the report about the previous week’s Trail & having a crick in his neck, probably from crawling along the roadside!

Hashit T-B-T as when it was produced at the final Circle it was in an almost pristine condition, well perhaps not!  The reason it was so clean was that T-B-T got away with it the week before when he threw it into the buckets for the UK-Qatar’s soaking wet Hashits!