Run No. 1367              14^th November 2010

Venue:                          The Swan

Beer:                             Greene King IPA, Tribute, Adnams & Broadside, Reverend James  

Location:                      Wheathampstead

Hare(s):                         Mr. X

Runners:                       17

Virgins:                           0

Visitors:                          0

Newies:                          0                             

Hounds:                         3

Après Hashers:            0

Total:                             16

Membership:                Paying our respects!

                As this was Remembrance Sunday the Pack would be missing as few of the usual suspects, with the likes of the JM, Haberdasher & families attending Services in their local area.

The Hare returned from setting the Trail at around half past ten, so he was surprised to see Fartin Martin arrive just after him.  Of course he should have realised that having arranged food for after the Trail, that this would lure Farts out of the warmth of his home.

The rest of the pack arrived at the venue, there the Hare asked the Hash to double park in order to conserve space.  This, you would think would be easy enough, but then Psycho arrived & parked next to Lobby Lobster.  She didn’t leave enough room between the cars for her to get out, so a game of musical cars began as the Seat was manoeuvred back & forth. 

If this wasn’t enough entertainment for one day, then 2-1-2 Maureen arrived & proceeded to do a similar thing, but next to a civilian car, then she gave up & parked it in the far corner.

The Hash were finally already for the Remembrance service being held just a few yards down the closed off High street, in front of the Churchyard of St Helens.  The exception was Ketch Up who was late getting there!

It is still amazing how some people do not appreciate what Remembrance is all about, the were plenty of upset looking drivers who didn’t like it that they couldn’t drive through Wheathampstead High street, for about an hour, as they were turned away by the Specials on duty.

The Hash joined in with the congregation, & once the two minutes silence had been observed, the Pack moved back up to the Swan to Circle up & hear what the Hare had to say about the Trail.

The GM introduced the Pack to the wrong Run number, which was deliberately fed to him by a mischievous Mr. X but no one else seemed to notice this until after the final Circle had been disbanded!  The Hare was called forward & he said that it was usual Herts Markings, that it wasn’t a long Trail & that there were short cuts. 

2-1-2 Maureen was overjoyed to hear this & asked the rest to remember the Hare’s quote, since she still hasn’t let it lie about her mistaking the Hare’s previous Trail talk when she thought he said that it was a short Trail & he didn’t.

While Ketch Up faffed about setting up Jaron’s Landrover buggy, which was awkward as Jaron was sound asleep, the Hare let the Pack loose & directed them up the Hill, & for obvious reasons this road rises away from the Pub in a westerly direction.

Only a few yards into the Trail & the Dust took to the leaf littered steps up the embankment beside the local school, care was taken as the route rose up behind the hedgerow above the road below.  Sludge led the way with 2-1-2 Maureen & Party Animal in close behind, Flip Top’s progress was suddenly halted as he had to clear up after Winston stopped to do his business, those running by had to hold their breath!

Sludge found the CHK at the end of the footpath, where it comes on to a T junction with another path running from north to south.  He didn’t hesitate to look down the obvious route to the north, like Flip Top & 2-1-2 Maureen did, he was straight down the flight of steps to the Hill & over the road to an alleyway heading off southward through the estates on the top of Conquerer’s Hill.

Sludge was rapidly on to the Trail & calls of “On! On!” rallied the rest to follow him down the alley way, he & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead did go wrong when the reached the CHK by the junction with the footpath out to Offa’s Way, they were soon brought back as Psycho & Party Animal led the way around the alleyway to where it merges on to Saxon road & then back around on a loop toward Conquerer’s Hill.

As the Hare made his way around the alleyways, he found a couple of plums dotted along the way, these must have fallen out of someone’s shopping bag.  These he put in his flour bag for later, when a few of the Pack made jokes at the expense of Mr. X’s plums, he was lucky that Pebble Dash wasn’t there then!

A short way to the south & an arrow directed the Hash up & around Nurseries road, passing a local School before leading down to a CHK on the bend in the route, Sludge was now back as the Chief FRB & he was soon down a side street toward Dyke lane.  Here the Dust was found & it crossed straight over to disappear through a gap in the dense hedgerow on the edge of the ‘Devil’s Dyke’.

Psycho & Party Animal were now joined by Skip, who was struggling a bit as he was suffering with Bronchitis but managing to keep up at this stage.  Sludge’s bellows of “On! On!” could be heard heading along the top of the Belgic oppidum, passing between the trees & bushes at the top & heading in the direction toward Beech Hyde farm.

Along the way the Hash had to clamber over a small fallen tree across the path, then the narrow route came to a small open area & descended a set of wooden steps to a CHK in the very bottom of the earthworks.  Most of the Pack fell for the two falsies heading through or on the outside of the small plantation before Beech Hyde farm.

As Sis, Louise, Molly & Six Pack reached the top of the Devil’s Dyke, Mr. X offered up a short cut along the top in the opposite direction.  He added that the rest were heading out on a loop before running back down through the bottom of the Dyke, but there was an even quicker short cut of risking taking to the leaf litter strewn steep drop down the embankment.

            Six Pack decided that this was a ‘boys adventure’ in taking the daring short cut of a 40 foot descent, while Fartin Martin reminisced about the last time that he was Hashing through the bottom of the Dyke & he came a cropper & ended up covered in Shiggy.  So, Farts stuck with the Harriettes & ended up being Molly’s ‘minder’ as they set off between the holly bushes. 

Meanwhile the Hare decided that after putting a short cut in, that he would follow on behind Six Pack to make sure he was alright until the rest of the Pack came through.  Mr. X’s descent to the bottom of the earthworks started off ok, but as he tried to keep his centre of balance low to the bank, an ever-growing pile of leaves built up beneath his shoes. 

It started off almost like snow-boarding until he picked up a bit of speed that soon led to where his centre of balance couldn’t get any lower & his backside was dragged along the floor making a real mess of the outside seat of his shorts!  On his way down the bank the Hare left a long dusty streak of flour as it spilled out of the bag he was carrying.

So, imagine trying to get down one side, negotiating the sharpened stakes etc in the bottom of the ditch & then clambering the 40 foot up the opposite bank wearing Armour & carrying your gear with you, all of which would happen under fire of missiles & arrows.

Most of the FRBs now realised that the Trail was doubling back through the bottom of the Devil’s Dyke, Six Pack decided to go on with Flip Top & the other FRBs while the Hare went back to make sure that Sis, Louise Farts & the Horror’s were on the right track, as well as marking the Check for any late comers.  Suddenly there was a scream from Sis, she was soon blaming Louise for her aching knee?  Which was parried by Louise with a “It was your fault that I fell over on the last Hash!”

Somehow Mark E Mark, Lobby Lobster & 2-1-2 Maureen had gone astray from the other Keenies & had failed to go back to the CHK, they ended up out on the top of the opposite bank of the earthworks, which would have meant going through a T!  Louis & Mark E Mark managed to get down the 40 foot drop of steep embankment, but Lobby Lobster & 2-1-2 Maureen weren’t even going to consider taking that route!

The Hare was lenient on Lobby Lobster & 2-1-2 Maureen, he told them to carry on along the edge of the crop field & it would lead them out to where the Devil’s Dyke comes out to the level of the lane.  It was lucky that they didn’t go down in to the bottom of the Dyke as Louis had picked up a very long branch & was trotting along with it in a manner that could catch the legs of the unsuspecting!  Mark E Mark warned the RA to watch his legs, eventually Louis realised that the branch was too heavy to keep running around with & it was abandoned.

The Trail continued right through the middle of the Dyke, again there were lots more noises from the Sis & Co as they approached the slices of tree trunk laid down as stepping stones through the deepest of the shiggy in the bottom of the earthworks. Once clear of the Shiggy, the Pack could appreciate the autumnal rustic colours of the trees, the Dust then led on beneath a large fallen tree that spanned the 20 foot width of the earthwork. 

At the end of the Devil’s Dyke the Trail came out through the ornate wrought-iron gate with its two brick pillars, here a CHK was found on the opposite side.  A few looked at the plaque about Lord Brocket dedicating the ‘Devil’s Dyke’ to the people of Wheathampstead for the Coronation of George V, by the other pillar was a information board about the History of the earthworks & how it was a fortification built by the Belgae Tribe of Celts who constructed it all by hand.

Mr. X knew the history of the area, no surprise there then, 100 years before the Roman Conquest in AD 43 this part of Hertfordshire was the heartland of a powerful & aggressive tribe known as Catuvellauni, Celtic for 'expert warrior'.  The earliest capital of the Catuvellauni is likely to have been located here.

In 54 BC as it was the scene of Caesar’s siege of the Beglic Oppidium (Settlement).   After several bloody battles from the Thames up the Lea Valley with King Cassivellaunus, during Caesar’s second invasion of Briton.  This occurred after four other English Kings grassed Cassivellaunus up & revealed the location of his secret fort at Wheathampstead.  Cassivellaunus finally gave in to Caesar, but instead of revenge, Caesar incorporated the Belgae tribe in to the Roman society.

The FRBs were quickly down the final part of Dyke lane, but before reaching the Marford road an arrow directed them off along a footpath between the row of homes & their large front gardens that are separated between the house & the Marford road.

As the Hare sorted out the Short Cut, he spotted Psycho, Party Animal, Ketch Up & Jaron lurking around where the L-shaped path comes out on to the Marford road.  He beckoned for them to come down toward him & take the short cut down Sheepcote lane by what was the Nelson Pub, but is now an Italian restaurant.

Meanwhile, Skip, Sludge, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, Flip Top & Six Pack had followed the Trail back down the Marford road toward the Swan, but there was no On Inn just yet as more arrows took the FRBs over the road & off down Necton road to a footpath leading out on to a Held CHK on the edge of the King George Playing fields.

                The Hare briefly left the SCBs on Sheepcote lane as they wandered down from a CHK beside a footpath emerging from between two hedges, as he went off the Hare shouted out that those who wanted to miss out a long loop should wait underneath the by-pass beyond the ford!  Mr. X now ran back along the footpath between the allotments & the horse paddocks to call the Keenies to “Check it out!” from the Held CHK they were holding on the edge of the football pitches.

It took a while for the Hare to be heard & noticed over the noise, & the attraction of watching 22 men kick a ball about in front of the FRBs, but as the Keenies were all male it was bound to happen.  Back on the Trail, Sludge & Flip Top led the way, with Six Pack, Skip & My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead in tow, the Hare was pleased to see that they fell for the False Trail on the footpath leading off between the horse paddocks halfway along the route back to Sheepcote lane.

The hare got back in front of the Keenies & ran down Sheepcote lane, crossing the dry concrete raised platform over the ford in River Lea & following track out to catch up with the SCBs standing beneath the bridge.  By now there was a light precipitation in the air & it was already gone a quarter to the hour, seems the messing about in the Devil’s Dyke had taken a lot of time up again this year, & as there was no one really up to running the whole Trail this week, the Hare decided that he would cut out a loop up to the Ayot Greenway of the former Welwyn Garden City to Luton Railway line.

Sis & Psycho had carried on with the whole Trail, but by the time the Keenies had made it back from being caught out by the horse paddocks it would take another 10 minutes to get back to the On Inn, so the Hare marked the Trail to lead up the footpath back on the Wheathampstead side of the Cory-Wright way by-pass, then he went off to round up Sis & Psycho back from the uncapped route of Sheepcote lane to the east.  This took a little while as Lucy was off mooching around in a plantation & had to be retrieved.

The Trail climbed up the bank beside the by-pass & then led away down a nice smooth surfaced bridleway that was fenced in on its way back toward Wheathampstead.  Having passed through a gate, the Trail moved toward the edge of the river lead, just above the fishermen on the private banks of the Lea & came out to a CHK on the edge of the common.

Some of the FRBs fell foul of this, but it didn’t take long for the Hash to suss out that the Trail would cross the uneven common, which had a few Citadels (mole hills) scattered about on the east of the Lea.  Of course the Trail would now head over toward the bridge spanning the Lea, here the ‘blinkered’ Sludge led My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead 2-1-2 Maureen, Fartin Martin, (a poorly) Skip, Ketch Up with Jaron, Mark E Mark, Lobby Lobster, Luise & Molly through no less than two T’s to stop use of the bridge!

The Hare allowed Psycho & Sis to avoid the water hazard, but they were the only ones except for the poorly Skip. Instead only Flip Top, Six Pack & the Hare crossed through the shallows a little further north along the Lea, Winston & Louis were straight in the river, which led to a civilian couple’s dog to go in there too.  It took a while for them to get their dog out, then the Hare waded through & their dog thought it would be jolly good fun to join in again!

                As the Hare came out the other side of the lea, Mark E Mark was quick to point out that Lobby Lobster didn’t go through the river as she didn’t want to get her wellies wet!  He may have done this to avert the RA’s attention form the fact that he hadn’t gone through the water either! 

The Trail passed by the pump house & came Inn down Meads lane, starting by passing the sewage works & then new homes to come out at the bottom of the High street beside the Bull.  Along the way Louise told Six Pack that he ought to listen to Mr. X, as he told them about the history of the Devil’s Dyke on the return to the Swan.

Back at the On Inn the Hash found that it was packed inside, so they took to filling up the space in the smoking shelter.  Although it wasn’t cold, not with everyone squeezed up together & all cosy, the rain had started to get heavier & this was the best option for when the Landlord brought out a couple of platters of sarnies, the usual descent of Hash locusts occurred to strip the platters bare of their fare!

Flip Top did the Honours in handing out the Down-Downs, the Hare received his for setting a Trail that everyone had agreed was a good one that took most of the Pack an hour to get around.  Those like Mark E Mark who evaded the water & Bullsh*tted that they had were picked up on by the GM & handed a Down-Down.  Lobby Lobster was awarded her hit for completing 50 Herts Trails.  Molly was christened Two Timer, after she had spent most of the Trail in Fartin Martin’s company!

After the Circle the conversation came around to Plums, & not just those that Mr. X found as Sis went on to explain the anatomical differences that men have!