Run No. 1374 27th December 2010
Venue: Chez Paxo
Beer: John Smiths, Gwynt y ddraig Old Timer Cider, Mark E Mark’s Ginger Beer
Location: Ware
Hare(s): Pepé le Pew
Runners: 25
Virgins: 0
Visitors: 0
Newies: 0
Hounds: 0
Après Hashers: 2
Total: 27
Membership: On a slippery start!
Well it was a far better turn-out than the last Trail, most were surprised that the Pack could manage to get up Tower Hill as the expected snow drifts from Paxo worrying report to the RA the week before didn’t seem to exist! Anyhow, there didn’t seem to be much of a rush to get things going, & the late arriving RA found nearly all of the rest of the Pack all sheltering within Chez Paxo!
Even Ketchup was there before the RA arrived, so by the time the Hare & the JM had got everyone outside it was 20 past Noon. The Pack formed the Circle out on the street outside Chez Paxo, which had a CHK there!
Pepé le Pew explained that the Trail was marked in Flour, Sawdust & Pink Chalk, he added that the start of the Trail was pretty treacherous underfoot & care would be needed, then with a “If you run down the middle of the road to avoid the ice & miss the markings, then its your own fault!” he set the Pack loose.
While Slug, Port & Starboard all set off around the Trail, 3D remained back at base sorting out the food with Slug’s mum & granny Paxo. Backpack looked as if he was ready for anything out there on the streets of Ware, he was dressed in combats, which makes you wonder if the locals are friendly up on the Hill?
T-B-T, Spotted Dick & Mark E Mark all headed eastward, while Pebbledash, No Eye Deer, Spillage & Puddles went westward, calls of “On!” came from both options. Eventually the way the girls went looked to be the right one, as the Guys were coming back from a False Trail but things weren’t going to be that straightforward as the other obvious option stopped at a Bar CHK!
Koda was howling away as the Pack ran by Chez le Pew, not once but twice & they were calling out “On! On!” each time! Zing-a-long-a-max was just getting out of his car as the Pack ran by him twice, since the only other option now was to cut through the garages next to Chez Paxo, there the Trail was found. The Pack had to watch their step as they picked their way through the strips of ice. As the Pack came out through a pass through to Jubilee avenue & out on to Cromwell road someone launched a snowball toward the RA but it missed.
Out on Cromwell road & a CHK was found, from here the FRBs were soon going to fall for the Hare’s trickery, T-B-T, Spotted Dick, Kylie, Ketch Up & Mr. X took to looking over on Woodley road but they soon found a T! One local pointed from his front garden to where T-B-T had ran down Cromwell road & said “They’ve gone that way mate!”
Back out on Cromwell road & the Hare was leading No Eye Deer, Pebbledash, Spillage, & Lobby Lobster down toward the local shops. The Trail then passed by the Jolly Bargeman, which the RA was surprised to see that it had a ‘Family room’ & the Hare said as it wasn’t the type of place for the Hash Horrors, not even ones in combat uniform! The FRBs were again caught out as a Falsie lured them off up Cobham road, a turn around for the Keenies to follow the rest further down Cromwell road.
The Trail turned off & the FRBs were led up to a Bar CHK, then having come halfway back, arrows were spotted leading down a side alley. 2-1-2 Maureen going back & forth as if she were lost, but joined the rest as the Hare directed the Hash down through the very icy alleyway, which was partly dug up for some serious footings with reinforce concrete being put in for either a very big garage or a huge extension to a house at the start of it.
Mr. X recommended that 2-1-2 Maureen stuck to the side of the path, a she looked like her shoes were slipping a bit, he said the non-compacted snow was easier to walk on & the risk of treading on the odd dog turd was a small price to pay.
Kylie spoke to the RA & he was very apologetic for the lack of a turn out when he herd that only two others made the effort to get to Sloppy Second’s Trail the previous week, he did have a decent excuse that he was working.
The Trail descend the hill via the back streets & came around on to the end of Widbury Hill road, there arrows directed the Pack along the Star street part of this road, heading in to Ware where the going was again very slippery. Around the slippery bend & Mark E Mark said to the RA that it was “Alright for Ketchup as he has Jaron’s buggy to hold on to for stability! It sounded like Ketchup was like an old granny with a sholly trolly!
More arrows directed the Pack across the road & in to a small industrial area, so there was no chance of paying a visit to the Angel. Here extra special care was needed as the car park area had ice beneath the puddles of melted ice water, even Puddles didn’t want to splash around in this!
Having gingerly picked their way around behind the factory units, the Trail led the Hash on over a weir where there were signs saying ‘No swimming, Strong currents!’ but even the Hash wouldn’t be that daft as to go for a dip in these temperatures.
Mr. X & Spotted Dick took it easy as they led the way on by the corner of a building on the other side of the weir, here the compacted snow had been turned in to white sheet ice, one false step could have resulted in a slide toward the drop in to the water.
Everyone successfully negotiated this dodgy bit to get on to a footpath on the left side of the long spit of land between the lakes & the river Lea. Mr. X & Spotted Dick were greet with a “Keep those knees up!” from one of two women out walking their Labradors.
As the Trail passed by a wooden footbridge over the Lea, the RA thought better of continuing with the straight forward route, having been caught out by the Hare enough times earlier on, he & Sloppy Seconds chose to look over the bridge.
Sawdust was found on the steps up the bridge & a glance to the southeast allowed them to see Spotted Dick coming back from the T up on the continuation between the lake & the river. On the slippery steps down to the tow path on the west bank, these two were told by a civilian man to set an example by running down to the tow path!
The Trail turned to go beneath the bridge to head southward along the tow path, this would be a long stretch down to Hardmead Lock, no one was tempted to go off toward Lower road & the main London road back to Ware, so, Mr. X led the way further southeast down by the few narrow-boat homes moored up at the edge of the Navigation.
Puddles was keeping up just behind the bunch of FRBs as they continued down the tow path of the River Lea Navigation toward Standstead St Margaret’s, the Trail passed by Harmead Lock but the Keenies soon found out that there was no crossing point there.
Up in the not so far off distance a footbridge to the opposite bank of the Navigation could be seen, it was a long trot to the crossing point & just when the FRBs thought that they were going to cross to the east bank of the Navigation, where they thought that the Trail would go around the Amwell Quarry Nature Reserve, but there was no crossing the Navigation yet.
The Trail continued southward on the west bank, there was a little confusion as some Rogue sawdust was found where some trees had been felled along the route of the tow path, was it a T or Bar CHK that had been kicked out? No, it was just tree surgery that had taken place!
On the way down to the second bridge the Keenies were passed by a fit looking female jogger, she passed Mr. X as he ran up the ramp to the footbridge & stopped to see which way the Dust went.
A top of the bridge the FRBs could look back to see the SCBs were being offered a short cut by the Hare over at the previous bridge. Mr. X thought that it was ironic the T-B-T was almost at his home, as the Trail reached it furthest point out!
As Sloppy Seconds, Mr. X, Spotted Dick & T-B-T made their way north-westward & back toward the bridge, they saw Zing-a-long-a-max start off on the loop but then change his mind to join 2-1-2 Maureen to take the short cut!
The Keenies & SCBs all met up at the Held CHK, it wasn’t long before the RA was soon informed that T-B-T had turned up at Paxo’s at Noon the day before, since he thought that the Trail was on the Sunday. The RA didn’t say too much since he had mistakenly put Sunday on the weekly email, but had corrected this after Psycho had spotted this & sent out an updated email to explain this!
At the Held CHK the Hare stopped & took off his webbing to get out one of two bottles of Port, & lemonade for the Horrors, which was accompanied by chocolates that Spillage handed out to the Pack. Zing-a-long-a-max’s excuse for not running the extra loop up to the next crossing point over the Navigation was that he’d miss out on the Port!
It was a fair enough comment as the locusts of the Hash descended upon this Christmas fare & it was soon hovered up! But none of this was exciting enough for one Horror, Ketchup was surprised to find that Jaron was now asleep in his buggy!
Kylie took an opportunity to sneak off, while the others had a second snifter of Taylors, but he was spotted by the Hare who made sure everyone knew that Kylie was off to scare the squirrels in the bushes.
When the Trail resumed only Zing-a-long-a-max & a couple of others contemplated continuing along by the Navigation back toward Ware, the rest followed on behind Kylie as he kept walking on toward the Hollycross road after his squirrel scaring!
The Trail was found & the Pack moved on through the edge of the Nature Reserve to a bridge on the Hollycross road, here a Pink SC was found with an arrow directing the SCB’s up the steps to the road. The Keenies all continued beneath the red brick former railway bridge as the Trail followed the old Train route out to Buntingford, running along the edge of Easneye wood
A CHK was found beside a style & most knew that a left to climb over this would get them on to a footpath running up the steep hillside on the way to Widbury Hill farm, which the Hare had mentioned at the start as somewhere to take care while crossing the road!
It was a long steady climb up the edge of the crop fields on the hillside, but once at the top there was a commanding view to have over the Lea valley. Along the way Custard asked Mr. X about the Christmas Party, people were still talking about it & she wanted to know if it was as good as what she had heard? Mr. X said that it was better than that!
Custard was impressed with the H4 Party, especially compared to the H5 one where they were all packed up & gone by 23:00Hrs! Still each to their own! A few of the tales of the Herts Weekend were recounted to Custard & some of the details can be read when the Run Report is finally cobbled together!
The Trail came out through the farmyard at Widbury Hill farm, a stile was climbed as a fence split the yard in to two sections. Out to the Wareside road & arrows directed the Hash over to the continuation of the footpath. The outskirts of south east Ware could be clearly seen now, but the direct route back wouldn’t be taken as it would cross the ‘Out’ Trail. With the lack of foliage on the trees & hedges, the gate to Fanham’s Hall could easily be seen in the distance.
Those with plenty of experience running these parts favoured continuing along Wood lane path until it reached the corner of the wood, Zing-a-long-a-max blew his little Vuvuzella to indicate that he had picked up the Dust that way & the rest of the FRBs of Lobby Lobster, Mark E Mark, Custard, Spotted Dick, Ketch Up, T-B-T & Mr. X followed on.
Now, Zing-a-long-a-max ran on to the edge of the wood & continued on along the track toward Swades farm in the east, but the RA had spotted a blob of flour on the upright post to the stile in the far corner of the crop field before the wood, this was the way Inn on the footpath where it passes through the small hedged-in playing field.
The Trail came back in to Chez Paxo, but it would be a while before No Eye Deer, 2-1-2 Maureen & a few others came in as they didn’t take the short cut from the bridge on Hollycross road & had finished the whole Trail.
Now, most people got changed in Chez Paxo, but Pepé le Pew, Pebbledash, Puddles & Spillage all went to their home to change, Lobby Lobster thought that she would go & see their place, so she walked in to Paxo’s neighbour’s house not knowing that the le Pew’s are actually Paxo’s next door neighbours but one! The civilians how live there weren’t too alarmed by this mistake!
The Pack settled in & started on the snacks with their drinks, talk was still about the Christmas Party which led to everyone saying that they would like to go back there.
Food was served, & the Veggies were up first to eat. Then the Horrors were served theirs, before ‘Non-men with Hair’ (according to Paxo) were up for turkey curry & Lobby Lobster’s excellent homemade turkey pie! Then it was followed by Men with hair, before the Hoi polloi of the baldies were last to go for theirs, but unlike Oliver twist there was no need to ask for ‘More’ as everyone had seconds [& they weren’t sloppy either – Ed] If that wasn’t enough there was plenty of helpings of puddings to follow, which pleased Spotted Dick.
Mark E Mark said jokingly that he wouldn’t be seen on the Hash until the first Barbeque Run, strangely everyone looked at Fartin Martin as he spoke these words. What Farts turn up when there’s food going? But he was a little preoccupied by the end of the dinner as he had to look after a squiffy George!
Mr. X & Mark E Mark went on to talk about them both receiving Kylies txt message about what he had to deal with over the Christmas Shift, it had a couple of drunks, one of whom dropped his bottle of Scotch & need assistance to get in to bed & when they expect a punch-line to a joke they got a RTA (Road Traffic Accident) that resulted in two people being taken away on spinal boards! So, there were no seasonal laughs there then!
With the Pack suitably fed, it was time for the Down-Downs, so the Hare was awarded his for a Good Trail which started off with various tricky diversions to slow the FRBS up; the three cooks were up for their sterling work in the kitchen; Lobby Lobster was up for going into next doors house, instead of next door but one!
T-B-T was out for Lost property & he was joined by Pepé le Pew & Ketchup; Sloppy Seconds was awarded his Down-Down as the RA had seen an advert for Roy Chubby Brown’s latest tour & at the Gordon Craig theatre, the poster looks like Chubby is working in a café & on this there are two stars one with Greasy Baps in it & another with Sloppy Seconds in it!
T-B-T was back out for turning up the day before, he was joined by the RA as he had sent out the email with the wrong day on the original one, but as the RA said if anyone had made it to the previous week’s Trail then they would have heard the correct date for the venue! The RA received hs for getting the day wrong, but not the date on the weekly email!
Zing-a-long-a-max was called out for the excellent work he did with the Christmas Party Karaoke, the Hash Committee had decided to give him something for his work this year but he didn’t want to accept it, so Hash Cash said that we he could keep it as a deposit for his services for next year or we would accept it back as a deposit for next years’ Christmas Party!
With the Down-Downs out of the way, & Ketchup being informed that he is next week’s Hare, he wasn’t sure if he had agreed to this, it was on to the port, chocolates that were left & Ketchup’s Stinking Bishop like Cheeses that were missing from the Christmas Party weekend! Boy did they hum! Washed down with Mark E Mark's alcoholic Ginger Beer (Oi! less of that!) it was something different!
With most of the Hierarchy present a very low key, relaxed, mini Committee meeting took place, the result of this was that The Hash would return to Burwell for next December’s Herts Christmas Party, No Eye Deer will again coordinate the bookings for that. Zing-a-long-a-max agreed that he would do the Karaoke next year, the date is still to be decided but traditionally it is the second weekend in December!
Committee talk also included a Summer Ball (Black Tie) in the summer, this could be staged to coincide with the Herts 1400th Run??? Plus there were a few other ideas which were mooted, watch this space for details!
As the afternoon degenerated, it was noticed that No Eye Deer’s top was made of little multicoloured shapes & it looked like one of those magic-eye pictures that were all of the rage a few years ago, the ones where you stare through the jumble of dots to eventually see a 3D image. So, nearly everyone had a stare at No Eye Deer’s chest, Mr. X thought that he could see melons but he was corrected by No Eye Deer & so he then said they must be Outspans!
The conversation began to descend to an even lower with Pebbledash’s comments at the table, but it really went down hill when Lobby told those around the table about an incident with her being caught short & Louis coming along to eat it, just as the chocolates were being eaten!
Paxo went on to bring out some old photos, from over the years of Herts Hashing, which was enough to scare the majority of the Hash away! No Eye Deer was shocked at some of the youthful looking Hashers!