Run No. 1375 2nd January 2011
Venue: Black Horse
Beer: Rocking Rudolf, Olde Trip, Green King Abbot, IPA
Location: Hertford
Hare(s): Ketchup & Jaron
Runners: 21
Virgins: 0
Visitors: 0
Newies: 0
Hounds: 4
Après Hashers: 1
Total: 26
Membership: Welcoming in the New Year & Hyena back!
Amongst the early arrivals, who were aimlessly wandering around along the length of West street when the RA wandered up to the Black Horse, were 2-1-2 Maureen & Hyena, the latter returning after a couple of months absence from the fold.
Hyena informed the RA that he had seen the Hare & he had said that he had encountered an unexpected problem. As Ketch Up was pushing Jaron around, while setting the Trail, the ‘all terrain’ Landrover buggy had a flat tyre & so he was forced to get Jaron picked up, all of which meant he had to cut the Trail Short as he tried to finish it off in time.
The Pack numbers slowly grew as the time edged around toward the hour, Skip was on his own this week, somehow there was a rumour that Psycho was absent as she was trying to atone for Skip’s sins! She’ll be on her knees for a long time if this was the case.
Paxo, Ewok, Pebbledash, Puddles & Spillage arrived, after parking all the way over the other side of Castle Hall, the RA enquired whether Paxo had brought his Hash Shoes that he had left at Chez Paxo after last week’s Run? The answer was no & Paxo denied getting any form of communication from the RA on the subject of ‘Lost Shoes’.
So, the RA was left with the prospect of running the Trail in his brand, spanking new Christmas Present trainers, of course even though these were black in colour they were quickly spotted by Sudge, Skip & just about every other Person on the Hash, but the RA knew better than to try & hide the fact that these were ‘Box Fresh’.
The RA’s mind was soon taken off of his new shoes when the offer went around of a Sherry or Mulled wine to welcome in the first Herts Hash of 2011, the Mulled wine seemed very popular, well it was compared to the brown, soupy looking ‘cooking’ sherry that Skip & Psycho had left at Paxo’s at the previous year’s ‘Left-over’ Trail!! Did Skip deliberately have one of these out of feelings of guilt?
T-B-T wandered up to the Hash, he was holding tissue over his nose & with the claret on show it looked as if he had been in the ring with David Haye, T-B-T was suffering from an epistaxis (Nose bleed).
The GM was back after ‘slumming it’ down under, where he & Sis got to see one win, one draw & one loss in the Ashes series in Australia. Though, he didn’t look very brown from his time in the Aussie summer.
Flip Top called the Circle together but somehow neglected to introduce the Hash to any run number at all! The Hare was called forward to explain what the Pack could encounter out on the Trail, his spiel was a bit different than the norm, as he said himself it sounds like a load of excuses as he mentioned the Puncture hindering his progress.
But there was a silver lining to this ‘dark cloud’ as Ketchup admitted that the Trail was now shorter than he had planned, so it was a better way to “ease the Hash back in to running after the New Year break!”
The Hare added that anyone who wanted to do any extra running could go up & down the former Hertford to Welwyn Garden City Railway line several times! The RA said that if he went that way then he would carry on along it to go home! Without further ado the Pack were sent off westward, down to where Dust had already been spotted by those who had parked right up by the village hall & the Football Club.
It was a lazy start as the Pack took awhile to get in to their stride, too much Christmas Pudding? Lobby Lobster chatted to Hyena as they started off, while Pebbledash heard the Horrors along the narrow road, by the green glass of a broken bottle in the road which was suspected to be the cause of the puncture but it wasn’t as it turned out that Ketchup knew the buggy’s tyre was almost flat when he got it out of the car!
Sludge & Skip decided to take up the mantle of FRBing, with Sloppy Seconds, Mr. X & Flip Top all following on. But as West Street becomes Horns Mill Lane by the Village Hall car park, Flip Top peeled off to open up his people carrier for the Hare to put something away. The First CHK was found a little further around the bend from this.
Sludge & Sloppy Seconds went to look on the footpath running from beside the allotments over behind the football Club & on to the Cole Green way, former Railway line, but Skip & Mr. X thought that they would look at the footpath running up through the wooded area across the road.
Skip & Mr. X picked up the Trail as it climbed a set of steps cut in to the wooded hillside, halfway they up they stopped to look off through a five bar gate that had flour on it, but the area on the other side was over grown with brambles & like the Hare they would find that there was now no way out of there.
Back out of the gate & the Dust was found to continue up to the top of the steps & took to the alleyway up along the homes perched right up on Hill, the view to the left looked down over the homes lining West Street on the way back to the Black Horse below.
A CHK was found at a short set of a few steps up between two of the homes. While Skip went off to search further along to where there is a footpath off of the main alley & back down beside the Pub, Mr. X looked up the steps to find Dust leading on by the multi-story car park behind County Hall.
Paxo caught up with the RA after he had gone off to look & see if the Trail was going through the multi-story car park, but it didn’t & now Paxo found Dust leading up to a CHK up by an oak tree on one access road on County Hall land.
Again Paxo found the Trail as it went off to the west & took to a footpath in the woodland, now the path descended back toward West Street on a set of steps cut into the woodland, this turned southward before reaching the road the Hash had started on, & a CHK was found as it led further to the south, the RA went off to search on what looked like another path to the west but this only led to the back garden of an isolated house on Horns Mill lane.
The Trail led around the woodland at the bottom of the hill before coming around the u-shaped path to the east & back out on to County Hall land by Bullock’s lane (Bullocks Pebbledash!), this time outside of the front of the Herts County Council headquarters. Sloppy Seconds had made up ground on the other FRBs, now he led the way up to the very front of the building & was soon in between the columns, but he went a little astray & headed deeper in to the bowels of County Hall.
Mr. X saw that the Dust didn’t go all the way in to the small garden area, instead it came back out from between the columns & on to the only Held CHK of the Trail, located just outside of the County Hall grounds on the pavement on the bend where Bullock’s lane becomes Pegs lane.
Flip Top arrived at the Held CHK & said that with the Trail going through County Hall land that the ‘mysterious Dust’ would make headlines in the Hertford Mercury! As Shakespeare once said “Out of the mouths of babes & fools cometh the truth”
The Pack regrouped, with Hyena, 2-1-2 Maureen getting to the CHK just before Roger the Cabin Boy & Kylie, who was pulling Charlie’s box on wheels. Obviously some of the Pack haven’t had the pleasure to have seen the sight of the Beer Master dragging Charlie about, but nether the less they found it highly amusing.
When the Trail resumed, the consensus was to cross over the junction on the bend & search down Highfield road as Mr. X & Skip thought that the Hare may have headed off to the footpaths leading in behind All Saints Church, but they would find no dust that way & instead Sludge called the Pack “On!” down the walled gardens of the homes lining Morgan’s road.
Sludge pulled away from the rest as he seemed to be the only one who was feeling up to do a bit of running, but Sloppy Seconds, Skip, Mr. X & Flip Top soon caught up with him at the next CHK. This was found at the hairpin bend in the road, with three options to take Sludge chose the hedged-in footpath running off between the school playing fields & the sports pitches, but he was soon coming back to the CHK by the time the others had arrived.
Sloppy Seconds, Skip & Mr. X still had an idea in their heads about heading down to All Saints Church but even after Sloppy had gone a hell of a way down the suburban street, no Dust was found. Flip Top & Sludge fared little better on the bridleway of Morgan’s walk, it wasn’t until the Hare arrived that they were called back to find that Sludge hadn’t gone far enough between the Sports fields to find Dust!
With the FRBs being caught out, Paxo, Ewok, Back Pack, No Eye Deer, 2-1-2 Maureen, Hyena, Pebbledash, Puddles & Spillage all managed to get ahead of the FRBs as they set off down the Alleyway, fortunately Roger & Kylie with Charlie in the wheeled basket had only just got on to this & the Keenies managed to get by this mobile obstacle!
The Trail came out to Mandeville road & the RA said that the Trail was now heading toward Mark E Mark’s house, who was absent as he was shooting, but Lobby Lobster was taking the Trail that way & she could have stopped off for a cuppa if she had wanted to, for Sludge led the way over a green on the back streets on the hill to descend down a spur road of Mandeville road & on to the Brickenden road.
There was little messing about down on the level & the Trail headed northward toward the Harts Horns on the Lower Hatfield road. The Trail now simply turned to the right at the T-junction before the Pub, now the Keenies were heading up toward County Hall once more but with arrows on the mini-roundabout the Hash soon found themselves on the end of Horns Mill lane, & as the dust led by the allotments the On Inn was found.
Sludge was tempted to go up the steps the Trail took to on the out Trail, to try & lure some gullible Hashers up on the footpath back to the one that runs down beside the Pub, but he realised that Mr. X was behind him & he wouldn’t fall for that!
The Pack changed, though with the RA’s gear in Hyena’ car he had a little wait to do this, but his wait was made more pleasant by being allowed to finish off the last of the Mulled Wine. Though drinking it out of the bottle didn’t look very dignified, but if it’s good enough for Junior then……! Hyena was a little while in getting back, as he spent most of the Trail chatting to everyone as the Pack took time in turns to see how he has been getting on.
The Pack settled in to the Pub, here Ketchup was presented with an excellent Birthday card. This featured a tomato ‘on the run’ with a caption saying “Don’t worry I’ll soon be Ketchup!” then there was a slightly disturbing confession from Ketchup & that was that he isn’t that keen on tomato sauce!
The Ales went down well, as the Pack listened to tales of Flip Top & Sis being down-under. Of course this meant that Roo Ted (Father of the Herts Hash Book) would be mentioned & how the book has made keeping count of completed Runs much easier with this than relying on Flip Top’s old temperamental Hard-Drive.
Mr. X had been made temporary custodian of the Hash Book, as My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead had missed the Paxo ‘Left-overs’ Trail but he managed to make it back from New Year in Nardge (Norwich) after the Pack were ensconced within the Black Horse.
My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead went out on the Trail & did the first CHK before coming back, he could have briskly walked around the whole Trail in 20 minutes since it was only 2 miles with out the false Trails, but with an aching ankle he only went as far as he had to.
The Down-Downs were held in the back garden, which meant a climb up a very narrow passageway, with small steep steps that turned en route to the rear of the Pub. Kylie managed to bang his head on the cross-beam of the small doorway as he emerged from the Bar.
Skip didn’t hang about & left the Hashit before heading off to Daddy’s Half-pint’s Pizza Birthday Party. Now, the Down-Downs didn’t take place in the usual order as Flip Top obviously cheated to find out the Run Number, which he should have mentioned at the first Circle of the day! Once Flip Top had downed the first hit, it was 2-1-2 Maureen turn to come out for her heckling of the RA!
Things then turned to the RA’s new shoes, after Mr. X had drunk his hit out of one of his new Shoes it was back to normal service. The Hare was awarded his Down-Down for making the best of things & setting a good Trail, which may have been shorter than the average but it managed to catch out some of the more experienced Hashers of this Pack.
Kylie was out for crowning himself on the door frame, while Roger the Cabin Boy was out for ‘photographic evidence’ from the Christmas Party of her on Santa’s lap & this could have led to a name change to Roger Santa Claus!
Ketch Up was out again for being the Birthday Boy, & a chorus of Hashy Birthday was sung as the card went around to be shown to the Circle. Finally the Hashit went to Flip Top, who, after presenting the Hare Raiser with a new Book & two Hammersley Shirts (Hashits) from Roo Ted, has obviously enjoyed the Dolce Vita Down-Under & will have to book in to Hyena’s Fat fighter’s clinic!
Mark E Mark arrived to join the Hash in celebrating Ketchup’s Birthday with him, he was soon asking if he could put it down for a Herts Run if he walked home, & as the Trail would take him almost to his front door [which one, the Harts Horns?- Ed] the RA said that it could count as a Run, Mark E Mark was almost in shock as No Eye Deer was as quick as Psycho used to be in asking him for his £1.50 Subs!
Two things got the Hash’s attention here, firstly Charlie was letting rip with some evil dog-farts that could have clear the Pub of those not with Hash constitutions!
The second thing was the announcement of Ketchup, 1-2-1 & Mark E Mark are going to do the Edinburgh Marathon in aid of an Asthma Charity. The RA asked Ketch Up what he knew about the Edinburgh Marathon? It turns out to be not a lot!
Tales of how hard it is were abound, in the ‘good old days’ the marathon used to incorporate Arthur’s Seat, part of the massive volcano that Edinburgh castle sits on another part of. But things have changed & the tough start from Arthur’s Seat has been watered down & it is now considered to be one of the easiest Marathons to run (according to the official website) as it is so flat on the route it takes out along the sea front.