Run No. 1376 9th January 2011
Venue: White Lion
Beer: London Pride, ESB, Jack Frost
Location: Apsley
Hare(s): T-B-T
Runners: 15
Virgins: 0
Visitors: 0
Newies: 0
Hounds: 2
Après Hashers: 0
Total: 17
Membership: 'Lost' (Series 8)!
Parking around this area of Apsley isn’t the greatest, especially on the London road, but somehow the Pack all managed to find places scattered around on & just off of the main thoroughfare without using the car park around the corner on Durrent’s Hill road road. 2-1-2 Maureen was her usual self when it came to the hard to find parking places, bemoaning the choice of Pub with only a couple of spaces at the rear for a car park.
Some of the Pack haven’t been over to this neck of the woods for around 10 years, not since the days when 19th Hole & Junior used to live at Bawdy Lock on the Grand Union Canal. It seemed that things hadn’t changed at all, some thought that Junior may have been in the White Lino the night before as there were some of Junior’s calling cards, unappealing piles of vomit, leading out of the front door of the Pub to lead around & down the side road.
With the Pack having been spread out with the Parking, someone should have seen some sign of a Trail being out there but nothing was noticed. As the early birds pondered the thought that there may not be a Trail, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead said that T-B-T said that he was going to set the Trail on Friday! Sludge then piped up with “He told me he was going to set it Saturday!”
The JM was late arriving at the venue, this may have been to the fact that he had been phoned up by T-B-T while driving to Apsley, or perhaps he was distracted by the near by Private Sex Shop???
Anyhow, the start of the Trail was going to be delayed due to the number of accidents that had occurred around the County due to the extremely icy conditions on the untreated roads. Des Res didn’t have such a problem with the roads, not since he had run to the Start of the Trail from his nearby home to attend his second Herts Hash only two & a half years after his first!
The RA received a call from Paxo, saying that the Hare was trying to contact him about the start of the Trail. Eventually T-B-T got through to the RA & explained where the start would be. So, around a quarter past the hour the RA called the Circle around the back of the Pub, he warned the pack to avoid the puddles of vomit en route, but Winston managed to walk through & then cock his leg to wash some away!
The GM introduced the Hash to Run No.1375, which was last week’s Run number, perhaps Flip Top has been in a time warp [hopefully not from the corset & stocking act of the Rocky Horror show – Ed] since coming back from Australia!
The RA then informed the Pack that the Hare was still out there setting the Trail [What after two days? –Ed] anyhow, it was case of taking a left at the end of the White Lion street & then down Mill street to take a right on to Durrent’s Hill road. Mr. X had some spare plasterboard in his bag & he used this to mark the Trail for any late comers, which would be Ketchup & Jaron.
The Trail crossed over Durrent’s Hill road at the pedestrian crossing to briefly enter the car park, perhaps the Hare wanted the Hash to park there? Then the arrows directed the Hash back over the narrow lane & down beside the pack bridge to get down on to a tow path on the edge of the Grand Union Canal. Care was needed on this first stretch as there were plenty of icy puddles to slip on.
Sludge, Mr. X, Sparky & Des Res led the way southward along the canal side, the Trail was heading down to Bawdy Lock & it soon became evident that things have changed around here, with loads of residential developments having taken place since the days when Junior was a resident at Bawdy Lock! Some of the pack didn’t recognise the area like they used to!
The Dust led down to a CHK beside a walkthrough in to an Industrial area, Sparky went of to search between the factory units, while Sludge went further down to the white footbridge crossing the canal. Sludge crossed over the canal & didn’t come back when Sparky’s little vuvuzella could be heard from the industrial area.
The Trail took to a small loop between the units, passing by a stretch limo company though the gourdy pink one was not to every taste. The FRBs soon found themselves back beside the canal as the Dust led down to Grand Union Canal Lock 67 where the Keenies soon discovered that they only way off of the spit of land between the canal & the feeder river of the Bulbourne, they were now on was to cross over on the closed Lock gates!
Winston didn’t look too clever at trying to cross the narrow lock gate, Sparky offered to help get him across but Flip Top thought better of it, fearing Winston’s love of still water & rivers would led to a very cold icy dip.
Instead Flip Top went back to the white bridge & took the plasterboard from Mr. X to make sure that Sis with Lucy, 2-1-2 Maureen, & later on Ketch Up & Kane in his Buggy, could take the easier route to the east side of the canal.
The Trail continued along the east bank of the Grand Union Canal, the next CHK was found beside the start of the new white spiralling footbridge to the west bank, right by the Papermill Pub. Only Mr. X chose to look over this option & he found Dust, but having attentively made his way down the opposite spiral path, which had not seen any sunlight to rid the surface of any of the heavy, slippery frost, he heard the others call “On!” from the opposite bank.
In the distance Mr. X could see Sludge, Sparky & Des Res all heading down to the next bridge over the canal. On the side of the canal he was on, Mr. X could see that it looked as if he could run along the waterfront of a line of apartments to intercept the other FRBs where the Bridge comes back over.
The RA’s plans soon went wrong as he found that the footpath was fenced off from the property of the apartments, so a ‘Spiderman’ like Mr. X scrambled his way around the end post of the high fence to get around on to the Path the others were on. Now the Trail led up to London road, where a series of arrows took them to a CHK by a traffic island, Trail was found over toward Apsley Station, which was built in the 1930’s to bring the workforce to the papermills, the last Dickinson Mill sadly shut in 1999.
Sludge, Des Res & Sparky led the way, the Trail passed by the historic Basildon Bond clock, on the opposite side of the road, this clock had the letters replacing the numbers to spell the name & was put up for the Paper mills of Dickinsons.
Arrows led on by the front of St Mary’s Church grounds & back over pelican crossing on London road to find a CHK by an alleyway running between the factory units. Here there seemed to be some confusion as to where the Trail could go, Mr. X & Des Res checked it out down the alleyway, once on their own & then again with Flip Top & Sparky but there was no Dust found.
By the time they had got back on to London road, Paxo, Hyena, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, No Eye, Sis, Fartin Martin & 2-1-2 Maureen were given the opportunity to catch up & join in with the stalled search for the Trail. Meanwhile Sludge & Sparky went across to a small business park & tried to find Dust over there, all to no avail as there was none over there either.
Everyone were now too close to the On Inn & the temptation to go straight back was obvious, but the Hare did mention a Held CHK & none had been discovered so far. Sis decided that as she didn’t know the area that she would go back to the On Inn, she was not alone as a few others sneaked away a little later on.
No Eye Deer didn’t want to go straight back to the Pub, she was very decisive as took the decision to use technology on the Hash & phoned T-B-T on his mobile, all in front of the RA, Oh Dear! From her conversation with the Hare, it transpires that the Pack should have gone up through the Church grounds!
So it was back to St Mary’s, where the RA led the way up by the Church, just as the Service was kicking out, which put pay to his calls of “On! On!” A footpath led from the Churchyard & over an old red brick footbridge spanning the railway line, care had to be taken on the way down the icy steps in the shaded woodland at the edge of Shendish Manor Golf Course
Just off of the bridge a CHK was found in amongst the pine trees, while Mr. X searched off to the south, Paxo led No Eye Deer & 2-1-2 Maureen out of the wood & up over the fairways of the Golf course. Mr. X returned having found nothing more than an old tent & some stolen bunker rakes from the Golf course!
Mr. X & Des Res then searched off to the North, as the path ran parallel to the Railway & they found Dust. Calling “On! On!” on the way brought No Eye Deer & 2-1-2 Maureen back from off of the course but this would not end happily for them as Mr. X & Des Res found a T just as the other two caught up. 2-1-2 Maureen said “You’re joking?” as the RA indicated that was a falsie.
Back at the CHK & 2-1-2 Maureen was now all for turning back & joining Sis on the short cut back along London road to the Pub, No Eye Deer was adamant to continue with the Trail to the bitter end!
While 2-1-2 Maureen dithered as what to do Hyena had no qualms about what he was going to do, he set off back over the steps to go straight back to the Pub.
The majority decided to take a second look out over the golf course. Mr. X picked the Trail up as he made it to the start of a line of trees separating two of the Fairways, he managed to get across one fairway just before a couple of golfers teed up. So, he pulled away from the rest as they waited for the pair to tee off.
The Trail now followed the footpath up in to Cock’s Head wood [How fortunate Pebbledash wasn’t there! – Ed] then on through Hen’s Head wood to get out on to the tarmac access road & on up to a couple of farm houses, the arrows stuck with the tarmac drive way as it ran through a farm yard ?? Here a Mark 2 Cortina in pristine condition was seen parked up under an open fronted barn.
The Trail followed the drive around by the front of the Shendish Manor house, former home that was built for one of the Dickinson Paper mill partners, to lead on southward to the Held CHK on the bend of the drive way back down the hillside to London road.
The RA was now so far ahead he wasn’t going to Hold the CHK, as he wanted to make it to the Saracens’ Match in Watford in time! A Falsie was discovered a long way down the access road & there was another on the footpath out toward Nash Mills.
From the point of the Held CHK the Pack seemed to make their way back by what ever means they could, some on the driveways to the Club House, others back got back by using rabbit runs, bolt holes & another method.
Probably no one except the Hare did the whole Trail, which went out through the the back of the course & then all the way around & down to the Bovingdon road & down to Boxmore & back in!
Somehow the Pack managed to get them selves home, luckily for Ketch Up he did what Sis did & followed the Trail back in along London road saving himself from pushing Jaron’s buggy up over the Railway bridge.
The Pack managed to get back to the On Inn before the Hare, which seems like a first for Herts! They soon settled in by the open coal fire, in this comfortable bar. Des Res & Mr. X even moved some of the furniture around so that the Pack could sit together.
When T-B-T did arrive, this Hare was a little morose with comments of “That should have gone better!” to describe the Trail. Sludge, Mr. X & a few others talked to T-B-T, it would transpire that the Pack did indeed make their way in via various routes, none of which seemed to be the one the Hare had set!
The Down-Downs saw the Hare receive his for a Trail that may have ended in a strange way; 2-1-2 Maureen for dithering whether to carry on with the Trail or Short Cut back; No Eye Deer for being 21 (again?) & a chorus of Hashy Birthday was sung; Des Res got his for being a regular with Herts, 2½ years!!! Finally the Hashit went to Paxo for creeping up to the girls & then be grammatically incorrect with his excuse to the RA!