Run No. 1379               30^th January 2011

Venue:                          The Countryman

Beer:                              Buntingford Where’s the Fox’s Hat

Location:                      Chipping           

Hare(s):                         Flip Top

Runners:                       26

Virgins:                            1

Visitors:                           0

Newies:                           0                             

Hounds:                          3

Après Hashers:             3

Total:                             33

Membership:               Enjoying the sausage platter!

                This week saw Charlotte dropped off by her Dad to attend her first Herts Hash, he then drove off after entrusting Paxo, Puddles, Spillage & Backpack looking after her.  If you were wondering what her Dad was doing, well he was going to clear out his shed. [Is that a euphemism? –Ed]

            Pebbledash arrived & she sounded croaky after having a cold, she was also walking like John Wayne after the previous day’s Bike Bash!  Then Porky Pie & ARP pulled in to the car park & they still had their bikes on the roof-rack after the Bash, those already gathered in the car park heard that Porky Pie had to stand up & cycle for most of the Bash as his saddle was wet! (Perhaps he should have seen Pebbledash – see later on)

The Pack formed a Circle to hear the GM come out with some abstract number that wasn’t even close to resembling the actual Run number!  At least he got introducing the Hare correct as it was none other than himself!

Having gone through the speech about what the Pack could expect out on the Trail, the only bit that most took notice of was the mention of a Beer Stop, the Pack was briefly held up from running off as Charlotte had to be introduced to the Pack.

            With the directions of ‘Head Southward’ coming from the Hare, Mr. X, T-B-T, Sloppy Seconds & Porky Pie led the way down the A10.  Ketchup & Jaron drove by the Pack, then Zing-a-long-a-max who were all waved at & they waved back, RA was encourage to run by Zing-a-long-max shouting out of his window.

The First CHK was found by the farm track heading off through a dry ford & up over the hills to the east, the RA thought that having been that way before that the Trail would take to a footpath that the Hash have never been on, so he crossed the road & headed westward.

            So, Mr. X stumbled about in the ploughed crop field to the west of the A10 where he would find no Dust at all!  Though later on Flip Top admitted that he was going to go on that footpath but he couldn’t see where the dog-leg path came out where it was ploughed up, so that idea was dropped.

Meanwhile Porky Pie & Sloppy Seconds headed further down the A10, but they too would be coming back as “On! On!” was called over the ford on the River Rib & up to the east.

            As the Pack made their way over the almost dry ford, which wasn’t the case when No Eye Deer had her first Hash from this venue, the RA overheard the objective of a Hash Trail being explained to Charlotte.  The part about the False Trails being used to catch out the FRBs was quite apt, for they were soon on to a T!  There were a few groans, especially from 2-1-2 Maureen & Pebbledash as the Pack turned around.

            The option that Porky Pie & Sloppy had started off down earlier turned out to be the correct one & one sided arrows were picked up to lead on down the part of the old A10, beside the dried up bed of as stream deep in the chalky ditch within the tree-line.

The Trail came up to a CHK by the curved road around a pumping station on the edge of the remains of Ermine Street, from here Porky Pie & T-B-T continued straight on down where it becomes Parkside at Brickbridge, there was no Trail, meanwhile Sloppy Seconds went back out to the A10, where he found Dust over on the opposite side & on to the lane from the T junction.

The RA was hard on Sloppy Seconds heels, but Mr. X took his eye off of the Trail & blindly followed Sloppy Seconds down the lane to Mill End, only to find him stopped up by the hedgerow where he was scaring squirrels!  “Calls of Are You?” came from the Pack behind them, back up by the T-junction.

A slightly wonky footpath sign looked like it pointed over the hillside beside the solitary house on the edge of the A10, but the way was barred by a metal 5 bar gate. 

Sludge, My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead & Porky Pie clambered over the gate to find the Trail running up along the edge of the seeded field.  It was a long, hard, steep climb up the rolling hill, the going was a little tricky as the hard, frozen, soil had a thin slippery coating of clay on top.

As the Pack made their way southward up the hill, Mr. X & Sloppy now made their way by Ewok, No Eye Deer, 2-1-2 Maureen & Pebbledash, who seemed to be struggling a bit after the previous day’s Bike Bash. 

Those up ahead on the top of the hill, like Paxo, called out to No Eye Deer to look out for the deer down in the valley, but neither she or Ewok struggled to view any of the deer over the brow, unlike the taller ones off the Hash, until they were on very top of the hill.  No Eye Deer said that the deer running away in the distance look like dogs to her, a trip to Specsavers may be in order there!

A 90° turn at the top & Sludge had made good progress in getting down the hillside, most others took it a bit carefully as the going was like being on a ski slope at times.  The Trail came down to the bottom of the valley & Sludge was quickly through the next CHK, now he headed southward again on a wide green strip of grass along either side of the ditch with a couple of Pylons standing tall over this stretch.

The Trail came up to an earthen crossover in the ditch & Sludge changed to the opposite side, by doing this he managed to avoid running the Trail down the original side & on to a CHK near to a narrow wooden footbridge over the ditch & on to a gate in the hedge of a large enclosed paddock.

Sludge found the Trail through the paddock as it ran up the hillside beside a row of markers indicating where the shoot would place each gun.  Porky Pie was fascinated by these, while the RA was more worried about Lucy straying in there & upsetting the local Game Keepers.

Sis got Lucy back by the time they reached this point, but there was no shooting to worry about [Must be a first for the Hash as Trails normally head toward any shooting? – Ed]  As the Pack progressed up toward the Lower farm’s buildings a strange buzzing could be heard, was it a Game Keeper on a quad bike?  Nope, it turned out to be a blue remote controlled model aircraft flying about, but was it a spy drone with a camera attached?

The Keenies made their way up to a BS, which most hoped stood for ‘Beer Stop’ but the RA said to Sludge that it could have been a nasty rouse by the Hare & it could have stood for Bull Sh*t! Fortunately it didn’t, for when the GM arrived he took his back pack off to get out a thermos flask of hot mulled wine.  Judging by the comments it was a little too hot for a few to start with.

While the GM & RA poured out hot mulled wine, Spillage, Charlotte & Puddles handed out the Liquorice & jelly snakes, the kids could also have water or coke.  The Back markers of the late comers of Ketchup, with Jaron in his buggy, Fartin Martin & Georgina could be seen making their way along toward the Beer Stop.

While the Pack chatted & supped at the delicious Mulled wine, Sludge amused the RA by cleaning the clods of soil from off of his shoes!!  The RA said that he thought that Sludge was a bit ‘optimistic’ & Sludge replied “It’s all on road on the way back!” with an air that made everyone else think that he knew the route home.  This would later transpire to be the Bull Sh*t that the BS stood for!

The Hare now admitted that the Pack would not be back for Noon, once someone had pointed out the time that had been taken up so far at the Beer Stop.  Was this a ruse from the Hare or was he really behind schedule?

The Pack moved on, T-B-T & Sludge led the way further southward, up toward the farm & Middle farm  & the FRBs were cock-a-hoop to point out, to those following on, the trailer of dead Pheasants hung on tuck in the farm yard.  This would not be to Zing-a-long-a-max or 2-1-2 Maureen’s taste.

            Dust led up to a CHK on the bend in Cottered road before this route reached the Holy Trinity Church, with its distinctive squat square tower on the edge of Throcking.  T-B-T & Sludge were keen to carry on along the tarmac, or look on the ‘in-tact’ footpath to the left, which left Mr. X to search the rough ground of the freshly ploughed field to the west.

It was extremely hard going over the high furrows of clay soil but about hundred yards in to this rough terrain Dust was found.  No one could run on this part of the Trail, not even when the Dust made its way on to the two meandering unofficial paths that have been walked over it, but nowhere on the course the footpath should have taken.

Having made it out to marker post the far end of this large tract of ploughed land, Mr. X led the way along the green strip of grass by the hedgerow running on the west edge.  The Trail passed through a gap in the hawthorns & followed the green strip on the end of the next field, running by the north end of Boldero’s wood.  In there feeders for the pheasants could be seen, but the Trail would soon be pulling away from this as it headed down toward Lye End farm in the far distance.

It was a gentle slope & around halfway down Burgess Lane (path) to the level there was a Held CHK.  Mr. X waited there for some time, as the Pack negotiated the ploughed field behind him.  Zing-a-long-a-max arrived & he handed out sweets, more sweets, but these were in aid of Great Ormand Street Hospital so those with any pangs of guilt [Not on this Hash! – Ed] didn’t feel so bad.

With the more sweets on offer it wasn’t long before Fartin Martin was on his way down to the CHK, he was accompanied by Georgina.  The RA said ‘Fancy Farts being here today when there’s food after the Trail?’ [What are the odds on that?  Not a lot! - Ed] Even Slug was running, blimey is that was having kids has done for him?

Lofty & Charlie soon made it down to the CHK, & once Porky Pie & ARP were there Flip Top decided to wait for the rest to catch up.  During the respite the RA overhead Zing-a-long-a-max nearly went to Hare & Hounds Hash, but made the correct choice!

Now, there was a bit of a wait as half of the Pack seemed to have disappeared, the time was now gone Noon so the Hare eventually allowed the Keenies to carry on with the Trail by pointing them off down toward Lye End farm.  It was most of the usual suspects going on the long loop out, & of course there were just as many who were expected to take the Short Cut.  It was noted that the JM was on the short cut, as was Puddles, Spillage & Pebbledash, two was still suffering, as the SCBs took to the footpath running beside Steward’s Ley wood & down to the Mil End lane

One who wasn’t expected on the Long Loop was Slug!  The Keenies made their way westward down to the lower level of the farmland, on a loop down toward the farm, the path turned before reaching the farm & led along the wet marshy edge of the field to bring the FRBs back around on Mill End lane.

Heading Eastward along lane to a CHK on bridge over the Rib, a glance back saw that only Lofty, T-B-T & Charlie were the last to take the Long Trail.  Down by a pack bridge over the Rib & some recalled a previous Trail that had gone off over the edge of the fields to the farm drive which leads up in to Hyde Hall farm perched up on the very top of Mill hill.  Mr. X led the way on a footpath that intercepts this but it soon dawned on him & Sludge, who was following on, that there was no Dust at all along there!

            The RA Marked the CHK as he went back by the Pack bridge, Dust was found & it led around a couple of alternating bends in the lane, passing by ‘Brookside’ where the RA thought you didn’t want to stop in case you get your shoe laces stolen!

Up over the end of Mill hill, & another long steady climb was next before the drop down to Chipping, but overheard on one conversation was how sore Pebbledash was after the Bike Bash, she was caught telling ARP that her ‘Lady bits’ were painful & she had to wear night time towels to ease the soreness! [Too much info –Ed]

Having reached the summit of the open hillside the Pack could see the hamlet nestling in the green valley & more importantly the Pub!  For the RA there was one last shock as he & Zing-a-long-a-max ran through where the footpath comes out beside the farm & this was loud veggie trump from Zing-a-long-a-max!

The Pack returned to find 3D, with Port & Starboard where already in the Bar, 3D was also shocked to hear about Slug running out on the Trail when she asked if he would be awhile getting back?  This was confirmed when he came in to the Bar around the same time as the FRBs!!

Pebbledash didn’t hang around as she had to leave straight after returning to the On Inn, she was sounding very rough from her cold.  But she did bring the awards for a couple of certain numbered Runs!

Flip Top briefly had to depart to Royston & pick up Louise, it looked as if he would miss out on the fabulous spread of food, especially the excellent sausage platter.  But he was back just as the Harriettes & Horrors went first at the food.  There was even a cheese bake for the Veggies.

After everyone was fed the RA held the Circle, Paxo was surprised that it was inside the Pub, but it has becomes something of a tradition to do this inside at the Countryman, as the Landlord enjoys the tales that are told, or perhaps he is respectful of his neighbours?

Anyhow, the Hare receive his Down-Down for the Trail, which was around an hour & twenty minutes with the two long stops.  Sludge was out for knocking the shiggy off of his shoes at the Beer Stop, as well as crocking his leg on the wooden bridge!  He was joined by T-B-T & 2-1-2 Maureen as they too had mishaps on the Trail, both fell over!

Skip was out for completing 400 Herts Trails, for which he received a hip flask & a bottle of single malt [his favourite apparently – Ed], while Sloppy Seconds managed to get his 50^th Run Bag for completing that number of Runs.