Run No. 1383               27th February 2011

Venue:                          The Crown & Falcon

Beer:                              Hard Tackle, Belgian Style Ale 

Location:                       Puckeridge       

Hare(s):                          Kylie

Runners:                        17

Virgins:                             3

Visitors:                            0

Newies:                             0                            

Hounds:                            0

Après Hashers:              2

Total:                               22

Membership:                 Paying our respects.

            It is sad to say that a year has been & gone so quickly since Goose’s passing, so it was thought that there was no better way to honour his memory then setting a Trail, which was based on one that Goose set himself a very long time ago, most probably the First Herts Trail he set.

Two of Goose’s former neighbours came along this week to honour Goose by taking part in their first Herts Hash, also in attendance was Goose’s brother Duncan & another friend. 

The task of retracing Goose’s first Trail was handed to the local Herts Hasher, our very own ‘Beer Master’ of Kylie!  So, as the time ticked around to the hour, it was obvious that the RA was going to have to step in & take over from the absent GM & JM [Have they eloped? – Ed]

Anyhow, the Run number the RA came out with was correct, well he would say that, but it really was spot on as he had only just finished the words that very morning! 

The Hare was brought forward to explain what the Hash could expect to encounter out on the Trail. Then, with things going in a slightly odd order, the Virgins of Howard & Philippa (but it wasn’t Hilda!), as well as Duncan’s friend were introduced to the rest of the Pack.  The RA gave a short explanation of Herts Hash markings for the newcomers before the Pack were let loose!

The Trail headed around the corner of the Pub & on to the High Street, heading northward to find the first CHK opposite Mentley Lane East, & with the Pack starting off at a snail’s pace it took an age for the Falsie up Mentley Way East to be found, meanwhile Sludge & Skip were well on their way up the High Street, with its old wattle & daub timber fronted homes leaning out over the road. Eventually some calling of “On!” emanated back from them up by the White Hart.

The Trail now took to the old remains of the tarmac that used to exist there as a part of a triangular road system, before it was blocked off no doubt for ‘elf & safety’ issues in joining the main Braughing road?  Anyhow, the Trail went this way & the Pack had to be careful where the placed their Hash shoes, for it looks as if Mr & Mrs Puckeridge walk there dogs along here, there were quite a few doggie landmines littering the way as Dust led out on to the B1368 Braughing road.

Arrows had the Pack crossing over to the path on the opposite side of the road, there the Trail ran a short way before it reached a CHK across from the Fitch-gate entrance with a driveway down to Gatesbury Which crossed the path of the former Buntingford railway line.  Skip went off that way to Check things out behind one of the trees there, where he scared a few squirrels!

Meanwhile, Sludge followed the Road further around the bend in the lane to pick up the former branch line by the Bridge before the picturesque Old Station, which has been restored up to look like it would have done in its prime one hundred years ago, the setting is complete with some rolling-stock & old Station furniture.

Now, a few of the Hash managed to make their way down to where the drive meets the former line as there was no T to stop them, Sludge came in to view as he ran toward the SCBing FRBs he must have realised that he had been ‘Out Sludged’!

A CHK was found where the drive crosses the route of the Buntingford line, near to the cottages at Gatesbury, the couple of homes here were those of a ‘picture post card variety’ complete with duck ponds & the river Rib flowing through the weirs where the Rib is separated in to a loop away from its main course.

From here Skip was well away as he led the way on Dust as the Trail crossed over the River Rib & weaved its way through the shiggy path as it turned to run beside the elongated strip of wood up the incline of on the edge of a crop field. 

Mr. X had stopped to look over the bridge to view the sluice-gates, & by the time he & Sludge then followed on behind Skip on what would be a very long False Trail, something that had Goose Set all those years ago, he was astounded to find the very large T that indicated that it was a False Trail, the shock of being caught out soon turned to laughter as they weren’t as far away as Skip was!  He was well ahead of them, having run beyond the T he was almost up toward the Ash plantation.  [Perhaps he was running to Specsavers? – Ed]

             As Mr. X & Sludge made their way back, holding outstretched arms to indicate it was a Falsie, they ran in to Duncan & the Virgins, then My Lil’ Sperm ‘ead, 2-1-2 Maureen, Sloppy Seconds, Psycho, Party Animal & No Eye Deer.  The latter of these came out with a classic comment of “Can’t we cut across there?” which meant going off through the next field that has the deep, wide, wet & cold River Rib separating it from the former Railway line.

Psycho & Party Animal were informed that Skip may be ‘gone a while’ since he was far away in the distant yonder!  So, the Pack paddled back through the shiggy, while Puddles enjoyed splashing about in a few of the puddles that littered the way. 

Back at the CHK & the Pack found that the CHK was now marked by the Hare, this pointed southward along the route of the Buntingford line back toward Puckeridge, the first part of this was easy going as it was pretty flat where it heads over the crop fields.  Along the way Sludge told Mr. X about some of his recollections of travelling by steam train on the Buntingford Line, which was fully opened in 1863 [Was Sludge there for the opening? – Ed] & finally closed 101 years later, by one of the RA’s ancestors.

Sludge, Mr. X & Sloppy Seconds caught up with 3D & Starboard as they accompanied the Hare in to the wood covered embankment to find a CHK.  3D explained that she was on her own as Slug was looking after Port, who was supposed to be feeling a little unwell.

Back to the Trail & Sludge didn’t even consider looking up in to the scrubby woodland to the west of the line from the CHK, he would be right not to do so & none of the Hare’s encouraging efforts for mug someone to search the Falsie to the west would work.

Sloppy Seconds joined Sludge in FRBing as the Trail took to the path rising up above the overgrown line below in the deep cutting to the east, the going along here wasn’t easy as there was a layer of slippery shiggy on the clay soil.  Mr. X found himself slipping further across to the drop in to the cutting as he tried to gain some purchase on the shiggy path, thoughts of someone (2-1-2 Maureen) slipping down there did cross his mind.

Eventually the going became easier as the Trail came back to the level of the Railway line, where it leads on by the chain link fencing of the playing fields to the local school.  The FRBs soon pulled away from the rest of the Pack as they Trail reached a part of the way where a new permissive path has been put in, something that wasn’t there in Goose’s day, but it would have been a nice trot around as it follows the course along the Rib where it arcs out around a smaller crop field.  Of course there was no way the Trail was going to go that way as Kylie had stuck with Goose’s original plan.

            The Next CHK was found by two passageways, one out to Meadow walk & the other back up toward the School grounds, by the time Mr. X & Sloppy Seconds arrived here Sludge was on his way back from the continuation of the former Railway line, he found no Dust where it disappears in to a slightly overgrown small wooded area.

The Trio of FRBs made their way out over the tributary of the Rib, through the passageway & out of Meadow Walk to Station road, here arrows directed them on a trot down to the main Bishops Stortford road of Kents lane part of the A120, the Dust led on over another weir on the Rib & along to a Held CHK by concealed entrance to Town Farm Crescent.

The RA, Sludge & Sloppy waited for what seemed like an age for anyone else to arrive, then My Lil’ came hobbling along just as the FRBs were going to set off in order to keep moving & prevent anything from seizing up.  It was commented on that Skip still hadn’t managed to make up the ground he had lost earlier by this point in the Trail!

By Now most of the old guard of the Hash knew that the Trail would cross over the busy main road to make its way up the hill & on to a footpath beside the last of the line of terraced houses on the south side of the main road, Sloppy was the only FRB who didn’t know this bit.

The Trail did indeed go up the A120 & then off beside the last home, now it headed southward over the fields to come down to a CHK where the footpath emerges on to the serpent like Hadham road with its double S bends.  The obvious route was to go down the hill in to Standon, there the Trail passed by the Saxon Church of St Mary’s at the end of the village High street, then on past the puddingstone & the adjacent tree planted in 1911 to mark the Coronation of George V, to take to Papermill lane.

The Keenies were now confident as they followed the rustic lane on to a CHK just before the bridge over the Rib, there was no messing around as they crossed the footbridge, passed through the white gate & soon picked up the Dust as it led on through the enclosed field to the west of Standon.  As Mr.X & Sludge made their way back up to Kents lane they found 2-1-2 Maureen walking toward them, she seemed a little slow on the uptake that they were running the Trail & not searching for it from the Held CHK by the weir.

As the FRBs & 2-1-2 Maureen made their way out through the wooden gate in the white fencing, they spotted an arrow on the back of the line of kerbstones, this was out of view from the Trail on the way out, as it pointed the way along the A120 to the west!

The FRBs now met up with the Hare, they explained that they couldn’t hang around on the Held CHK as they were loosing motivation & probably wouldn’t have got running again.  Anyhow, the Hare had marked a short cut for those at the very back of the Trail to tag along as the ‘Inn’ Trail ran up the A120 & then over the road to come around on to South road.

Back on the ‘Out’ Trail, No Eye Deer, Ewok & Pebbledash were making their way around the back of Standon, following on behind Sloppy Seconds & My Lil’, meanwhile the very tail of the Pack had gone astray in the wooded area back by the School & seemed to have got lost!  Even though it was based on Goose’s Trail, it wouldn’t be the same if someone didn’t ‘get lost’ on one of Kylie’s Trails, would it?  But most had a very good idea of how to get back to the On Inn without the Hare’s assistance.

2-1-2 Maureen showed that she was still plucky as followed on behind the two FRBs, they took to Gauldie way on a loop up around the few back streets of the small estate on the southwest of Puckeridge that would come back down to South road. 

What seemed like a straightforward run back up this road to the On Inn was soon dismissed, just as it was many years ago.  This time there was a not just an arrow pointing off the left but there was a picture of a baby buggy drawn on the ground with an arrow pointing straight on to the Pub.

                Those who followed Goose’s original end to the Trail, which didn’t number many by this time as the lure of going straight on to the Crown & Falcon was far too strong since it was just about to open!  Meant Sludge & Mr. X were the first of the few to take the uncapped track up through the allotments on Poor’s Land Standon Charity.

The Dust led up over the crest of the ridge, dotted with allotments in various states of work after the winter, by the allotment holder society notice board & then down toward the rear of the homes along the High street, but then the stream feeding the river Rib had to be crossed.

Now, if you are wondering what was so important about doing this part of the Trail?  I will tell you, way back when Goose set this Trail there used to be a concrete block bridge that panned the drop down in to the stream, but this either subsided on one side, or was washed over to cause it to be up ended.  SO, the local council sent ‘jobsworth’ to inspect this & the result was the footpath was closed.  Of course Goose being a resident of the village at the time was having none of this, he said that “If I can’t get around this obstacle without hurting myself, then I shouldn’t be allowed out of the house!” 

Goose was not going to be dictated to by the local authority, who obviously were frightened of a claim being made against them if someone was daft enough to clamber on the tipped up block, so he had the Pack traipse through this in an act of defiance.  Some were proud to re-enact this!

The Trail emerged from a short alleyway between two of the homes, back on to the High Street & the On In was found, as well as the word ‘Honk!’.  The FRBS returned to find 3D, Starboard & Spillage back I the car park, as were Duncan & the three Virgins.

Psycho, Party Animal were also back, just a short way down the road at the Nutter Mobile, so it looks as if a few had taken the short cuts the Hare offered them!  Duncan asked why they had got back to the Crown & Falcon before the runners, to which the RA replied that they had been up over the allotments & the reason why from all those years ago that his brother did it as if to stick two fingers up at the local council!

The RA was given some interesting information when he asked Spillage if her Dad was working, being the reason for his absence on the Hash this morning?  Nope, it turns out that he was at home ‘Ironing" & then he was going to watch the Arsenal (loose) in a Cup final.  The RA was tempted to ring Pepé le Pew up, but had second thoughts as Pepé le Pew may have burnt his ear in the process of multi-tasking the ironing, watching Moto GP & trying to answer the phone!

The Pack settled in to the Bar, where a spread of food was already laid out & the majority who were back started on this before No Eye Deer, Pebbledash & Ewok were returned from the long Trail!  Also in the Bar the Hash found Slug was there with Port, who had suddenly recovered from feeling unwell & was tucking in to the grub like the rest.  Locust like then!

There was plenty of food left when the last three Harriettes of No Eye Deer, Ewok & Pebbledash were back, but the story of Pepé le Pew doing the ironing had gone around like wildfire.  Oh, the Hash Jungle–drums! 

Now everyone was back in the Bar, it began to rain outside & this led Sloppy Seconds to bemoan that his windscreen wipers had packed up on his ‘fanny magnet’ for which h would receive very little sympathy.

The Circle was called & outside in the Pack headed out to the car park, mainly sheltering beneath the roof of the small area of the smokers shelter, though the brief period of rain had ceased.  The RA toasted the Hash & then it was down to the Down-Downs.

The Hare was rewarded for recreating Goose’s Trail; Psycho was out for talking during the RA Circle!  Spillage was called forward for letting the RA know about her Dad ironing, but she didn’t get a hit for this as it was good ammo for the RA in the future & an excuse to make sure the rest of the Pack knows about it.  Instead her Sister, Puddles, was out for her splashing about in the large puddles on the Trail & living up to her name!  Fortunately Sloppy Seconds was not out for living up to his name, but he was out for not having working windscreen wipers on his ‘fanny magnet’!

Two of the remaining Three Virgins were given their first Down-Downs for completing their first Herts Hash, then Goose’s brother Duncan was welcomed back with a Down-Down.  Skip received the Hashit for his marathon run to Specsavers, which was beyond the T on the Long Falsie!  To end the Circle the RA proposed a Toast to absent friends……..