Run No. 1384 6th March 2011
Venue: The Gate
Beer: Sixteen String Jack, Buntingford IPA
Location: Sawbridgeworth
Hare(s): Sloppy Seconds
Runners: 25
Virgins: 0
Visitors: 0
Newies: 0
Hounds: 1
Après Hashers: 0
Total: 25
Membership: More than the last Trail from here.
What a difference a couple of months make, although there was a crisp & some times sharp breeze in the air, importantly there was no snow on the ground & the good people from the top of Tower Hill in Ware & isolated [laces further afield could manage to get to the Run this morning. So, the numbers had increased significantly from the two who endured the arctic conditions last time around.
Most of the Pack managed to take heed of the words at the end of the last weeks’ circle, & the weekly email, to park up in the Bell Street car park. Paxo went around to the Pub to marshal anyone who thought that they were above the rest & prevent them parking in the Pub car park, he managed to send the GM away to Bell street, but seemed to allow 2-1-2 Maureen & T-B-T to stay parked up at the Pub!
The Circle was called around at the Front of the Gate, so after a wander around there the introductions were carried out & Flip Top, who managed to get this correct! As My Lil’ said “It’s only taken him one thousand Runs to get it right!” as today was Flip Top’s 1,000 turn out for Herts Hash, an achievement & a half!
The Hare was called forward & he explained what to expect, he double checked that he had got it correct with the difference between a False Trail & a Bar CHK (or CHK Back), he was spot on but a few faces, like those of ARP, 2-1-2 Maureen & No Eye Deer, had slightly puzzled expressions!
The Runners were told that they would go off first, while the walkers would remain behind with Sloppy Seconds for a few minutes. Mr. X was then handed a piece of plasterboard by the Hare & asked to accompany the FRBs on a loop out & mark the Trail, since he was one of the only two to have done this trail before!
The FRBs trotted away with Pepé le Pew, Sludge, T-B-T, Paxo, No Eye Deer, Skip, Psycho, ARP, Six Pack & a seemingly invigorated Flip Top heading up London road, crossing over the junction with West Road & continuing northward toward the local School.
As the FRBs made progress along Cambridge road, Mr. X slowed up as the Trail came to pass by an alleyway beside the School grounds. Ahead of the RA was Pepé le Pew, he managed to find the Bar & had turned back, so Mr. X marked an arrow to direct the Pack up the alleyway, these actions led No Eye Deer to accuse the RA of “Cheating”!!!! What!!!!! This couldn’t be, as Pepé le Pew had discovered the Bar CHK, & Sludge had done what Sludge does best & pre-empted the Hare by going off up the alleyway before hand.
The Trail progressed on by the busy football pitch as the alleyway makes its way out to the farm fields to the west of Sawbo. T-B-T & Sludge were the first to the CHK beside the water filled ditch marking the boundary of the higher level fields, they were not held up as they managed to cross the water hazard to the lower level & find the correct option first time, No Eye Deer & Psycho on the other hand found they were delayed as they had to negotiate the ditch.
Having shorter legs means that you need to get a better run up to clear the stream below! Or you wait for Paxo to do what he does best, & he approached them with a Leslie Phillips’ like “Are you alright Ladies?” We’re sure that one day he’s going to come out with the immortal “Ding-dong!
The Trail now headed southward, along side the ditch & back toward Sawbo [That’s what the locals call it! - Ed]. A kink in the Trail meant that the path changed sides of the ditch & ran behind the hedgerow until the route cam out on to West road.
By this point the SCBs had already made their way down from London road & were already across the small park, making their way by the fenced in play area to go through the exit on to Coney Green & then on to a footpath running behind the very old barns of Chalks Farm, these looked like they could have been out of a Dickens’ novel, with black pitched wooden slat walls that were propped up with huge black timbers.
The Path followed the route of the stream behind the properties, down in a tree lined ditch a couple of kids were fishing form crayfish. The way would come out to a bridge over the stream & here the next CHK was found at the corner of the fields of common land. Sloppy had allowed Pebbledash, Puddles & Spillage to check this out & they were heading out in the wrong direction in the wrong enclosed field.
The correct option was eventually found, but not after Pepé le Pew had been almost correct when he crossed over another footbridge & out in to the adjacent enclosed part of the common, though he had gone wrong by heading westward up by the hedgerow.
It was Sludge who found the correct route by taking to the path running diagonally from one end of the common to the opposite one beyond the football pitches. As the Trail came up to the scrub land to the west, Mr. X explained that the last time this was run it led on to a CHK at the intersection of the footpath running from east to west along the hazel hedgerow, here the trees form an archway that when snow covered really looked quite spectacular.
This time there was no Falsie down to the east, which the RA fell for that time, instead the Trail ran westward to the end of the hazel hedge & in to an orchard, Pepé le Pew, Puddles, Sludge & T-B-T all went beyond the path out of the orchard that the Trail was set along. The volunteers out pruning the apple trees were bemused by the sight of these FRBs running around like headless chickens, having been called back by the smug Hare to take to the path along by the row of tall conifer that act as a windbreak!
The Trail came out to the access road from the car park to the nearby hospital, the Pack made their way out to the front entrance to find a CHK, here they could see that the hospital was one that specializes in plastic surgery, there may have been a few candidates for this among the Pack!
Ketchup caught up with the Pack at this point, after he had sorted out Jaron going around with Sis, on a slightly alterative route for his buggy, was this to allow Ketchup to start his training for the Edinburgh Marathon? Probably not!
At the impromptu holding of the CHK, ARP was explaining that Porky Pie is doing lots of studying for his exams. A glance up a low flying Squeezy Jet plane led to comments that he could be up there in that very aircraft, to which the RA added that there isn’t a lot of room for Porky Pie to get his trolly up & down the aisle!
Flip Top led the way southward out along the High Wych road on what was a Falsie, while Sludge took the other option & head back in to Sawbo, there he would pick up the Trail as it led down toward the split in the road by the Hand & Crown.
Arrows directed the pack across to Hand lane, running by one side of the Pub. The change in direction of the Trail mean that the Pack, & especially Pebbledash were not led down the Bonks Hill road. Blimey Charlie, can you imagine if she had gone down there???
Passing by the Hand & Crown, the Hash could breathe in the delicious odour of Sunday lunch wafting form the Pub but there was no time for eating just yet! The Dust led down Hand lane to a CHK point by an alleyway out between the homes on the right-hand side, Sludge & T-B-T didn’t hang around at this one & got the direction correct from their first attempt as he continued down Hand lane to its end at a junction with the main Harlow road.
Once across the main drag, a Held CHK was found in the car park of Pishiobury Park. The Pack weren’t too far apart by this point, with My Lil’ & Hyena being the last to the CHK, no doubt getting by the Hand & Crown was an effort with the luring smell of Sunday roast. At least being at the tail of the Pack had its benefits, which was that they missed out on the (boring Arsenal) sweets that Flip Top was handing out.
Those who stuck with Sloppy Second’s confectionary offering were fine, those who tried ‘Arsene Wenger’s Bitter Balls’ were left with a very sour taste in their mouths. Six Pack attempted to suck on one of these but unlike the adults, he gave up & spat it out!
Having missed out on Bonks Hill, Pebbledash had to get in there with a comment about ‘sucking balls’, which led the RA to mention South Park’s Chef’s song of ‘Suck my Chocolate Salty Balls’!
At the Sweet Stop Held CHK, the RA told No Eye Deer & ARP of a time when the F.UK. Full Moon Hashed from this car park one evening many Moons ago, & due its proximity to Beckingham Palace, the Police were soon on the scene to see what the Pack were up at this Beer Stop!
When the Trail resumed T-B-T & Sludge were off like ferrets up a drain pipe, they were through the wooden kissing gates in the low hedge & out on to the open common land to the southeast of Sawbo, they left with the Hare explaining that “There’s no much difference between the Long & Short Trails!”
The Dust was soon picked up on a course over to the grassy ridge of the Harcamlow way running from nearly north to south, once up on this green embankment a CHK was found. T-B-T headed northward along the raised track, but he was soon brought to a halt as Sludge found the Trail heading north-eastward on a route that cut across the wide expanse of grass leading down to the tree line with the Stort & the Osier beds before it.
For those that don’t know what Osier Beds are, they are an area of wet land where Willows are grown for the basket making & weaving industries of years ago. The Trail moved away from the Osier beds & headed to a Kissing Gate in the corner at he end of Springhall lane, once through this a CHK was found before the duck-boards over the wet land area of more Osier Beds.
The Long & Short Trail split was found, while the Short Trail headed more or les directly back up to Bell Street by way of Springhall Lane & other backstreets of Sawbo, the Long Trail FRBs were taken down to the Stort Navigation to follow the towpath along to the bridge on Sheering Mill lane. Though the FRBs were slowed up a bit near to this by a large group of ramblers who had to walk at least three abreast & wouldn’t let the runners through, including a girl who was training for the London Marathon for Great Ormand Street Hospital.
The Trail climbed up Sheering Mill lane & then took to a footpath which weaved its way around behind the homes & then out in to St Mary’s Churchyard, passing by the picturesque Church & out on to the End of Bell Street.
The RA greet a real Religious Advisor as the local Vicar was locking up the Church as he passed by, then on his way down Bell street he ran by Sis with Jaron, she called out “On! On!” as he failed to realise it was her, this stopped him in his tracks.
While changing in the car park, Pepé le Pew tried to convince the RA that allsorts of misdemeanours had occurred out on the Trail, so he wouldn’t get the Hashit for staying at home & ironing the week before! This would continue in the Pub!
On the way around to the Gate, the early ones back met up with Mumblehead, who had been out on the Trail but somehow didn’t go the right way around it!
The Pack settled in to the Back Bar, but soon found that dogs weren’t allowed in, fortunately Mumblehead manage dot get parked in the Pub’s car park so Maisey wasn’t left miles away around the corner.
The Pack were spilt with the excellent Ale, then a couple of rounds of Hash Chips, some went up to the far end of the Bar to play Pool, while some took the rise out of the Gooners about the lack of Silverware! After Mr. X explained who Sixteen String Jack was, a footpad (Highwayman without a horse, by the name of Jack Rann, T-B-T asked him how Sawbridgeworth got its name? The RA didn’t know this one! Apparently it is derived from Sabrixteworda!
The Hash Beer sorted out the Ales & the Pack moved out to the under cover awning on the side of the back bar. The GM carried out the honours of toasting the Hash, & then it was over to the RA. The Hare was called forward & rewarded with his Down-Down after everyone agreed that it was a fine Trail indeed!
As the RA went of to tell about the misdemeanour for the next Hit, calls of Hashit came from Pepé le Pew for who ever it was to be to get it. He would say this every time that someone was called out! No Eye Deer was out for accusing the RA of “Cheating”, chants of “Hashit!” came from Pepé Le Pew!
Flip Top was awarded his Down-Down for being the first Herts Hasher to complete 1,000 Herts Hashes! Some achievement indeed!
ARP was out for her recent engagement, though there was no ring on show that morning. Skip was out for being a token Gooner. It was now heading toward the last two Down-Downs & the Hashit was looming for one person in the Pack.
Pepé Le Pew was then surprised to hear that he was getting a Down-Down f or his Ironing but wasn’t getting the Hashit, you could see the joy on his face when the RA produced a marker pen & explained to the rest of the Pack that someone amongst them was so convinced that she would get the Hashit the week before, that she had written “ON! ON!” across her cleavage! So, Pebbledash joined Pepé in the Circle & she removed her t-shirt, the RA had the privilege to recreate this legend across her chest, before she donned the now very wet Hashit!
The Pack settled back in to the Pub, here the majority of those watching the Football were very happy to see Liverpool score against Man Utd, which also led to a few Scouse jokes!