Run No. 1389 4th April 2011
Venue: The Fox
Beer: McMullens Original IPA, Country, AK
Location: Woolmer Green
Hare(s): Fartin Martin & Georgina
Runners: 19
Virgins: 0
Visitors: 0
Newies: 0
Hounds: 2
Après Hashers: 0
Total: 21
Membership: Back on Mondays.
The First Monday of the ‘new season’ saw a pretty good turn out, though things did look a little sparse to begin with, as time approached the hour the Pack soon grew in numbers. Custard used the time awaiting the Circle to form by trying to sell a double Hash on Bank Holiday Monday by running Herts & then defecting to H5 who are running at 16:00Hrs on the same day! [Wash your mouth out! – Ed] The GM called the circle together before anymore nonsense occurred.
Once the welcome speech was over & done with it, was down to the Senior Hare to explain what the Pack could expect to see out on the Trail, the only notable thing he mentioned was that there were horses on a couple of parts of the Trail, so ‘Hash Hush’ was to be observed near the equines.
ARP informed the Pack that Hash Cash would not be present tonight, & so she had been entrusted with the Hash Purse & the collecting of Subs!
Lobby Lobster had arrived with a new dog, Lotti, & they joined the Circle while Mark E Mark stood on the Circle’s edge looking like a washed up boxer, for he was wearing a hoody with the hood up, the RA enquired if he was wearing it like that so he wouldn’t be recognised by the locals? Apparently it was up because his ears were cold!
Kylie & Roger the Cabin Boy arrived just as the Pack set off down the New road toward London road, they were left to sort out Charlie & his wheeled box! Meanwhile the Pack passed by the scenic village duck pond on New road.
The first stage of the Trail was set in Blue Chalk, Sludge reckoned that this may cause problems if the end of the Trail was marked this way & the twilight was fading fast! Lucky that Skip wasn’t present then!
While the majority of the Hash set off along London road to the north from the CHK on the main road, Mr. X & Sludge decided to take the opposite southerly route around to the bottom of Mardley Hill. There, these two found the Trail while the rest of the Pack made their way back from a T!
The next small CHK was discovered on the opposite side of the road, just off of the bend by the local School. From here Sludge found the Trail on the sheltered side of the grass mounds, which may act as a sound break for the new homes behind it. The Hare had set the Trail on a small loop around the green & then back out on to London road, around halfway up Mardley Hill.
Mr. X, who hadn’t bothered with being led around the loop from London road, now found the next CHK & he had to do a double check as it was so small it could have been mistaken for a Polo Mint!
The CHK was located up the road above the end of the tunnel, for the main line to Kings cross to pass beneath the north east part of Welwyn, he was sure that the Trail would cross over the road & take to the bridleway along the ridge of Mardley Hill to the east.
Once across the busy road, Sludge asked the RA, who was further up the by-way, what he could see on the two upright black & white striped posts to block any illegal traffic & fly tipping, the answer was silver reflective discs!
It was a long way beyond the posts, & up by the stables before Dust was found on the by-way, but when it was picked up there was a nice trot along the inside edge of the wooded crest of the hill, this was followed by a steady descent down the incline on the open side.
The Trail passed by a mobile phone transmitter & on to the next CHK, where the route ends halfway down the hillside, here a new bank of soil was found to prevent access & fly tipping on one of the bends in the serpentine like Robbery Bottom lane as it snakes along the edge of the open farm land to the east.
From here Sludge & Mark E Mark all opted to take the lane out over to the east, Mr. X had been warned by Sludge “Don’t check out downhill!” after he started to look down toward the corner of Harmergreen wood. As these two headed out along the higher course of the lane, there seemed to be a lack of Dust, but the lure of the lights of Datchworth in the distance was too much for Sludge.
When the Hare’s calling of “On back!” was heard, this brought the RA back to the descent to the corner of the wood. But the prospect of running straight to Sludge’s old Rugby club was too much for him & he would not deviate from the most direct route there, plus they had found the Dust of the Trail. From now on Mark E Mark & Sludge were not to be seen on the Trail again by any of the rest of the Pack!
The others were fooled in to running down the lane to the corner of the wood, from there Zing-a-long-a-max, Fliptop, Sloppy Seconds, Spotted Dick & Custard all fell for the Falsie along the edge of the lane as it heads back in to Welwyn.
Even Kylie &
My Lil’ were lured down there by the Senior Hare’s persuasive charms
Bullshit. ARP was also caught out as she had originally started off along
the lane, but then turned back & joined the majority in believing Fartin Martins
falsehoods!
Back to the corner of the wood & the other option of heading up the footpath to the south was searched but nothing was found, then the Hare arrived to add another Red Herring to the chaos as he said that “No one has looked on the path inside the wood along by Robbery Bottom lane!” so off everyone went on another Falsie.
Now, being on the Falsie was bad enough, but Spotted Dick came out with an “I have to get by Zing-a-long-a-max!” as he started to try & sprint by Zing-a-long-a-max, who was up ahead. The two tussled for position in what looked like some very ‘Competitive Running’ to the RA, Spotted Dick only got in front of Zing-a-long-max when the Trail was found to be false & they turned back!
The Pack didn’t like the look of clambering up the steep hill to the lane where the Hares now were, & Mark E Mark with Sludge would not come back from. The other option was to follow the permissive path around the edge of the harrowed crop field on the level at the bottom of the hill.
Zing-a-long-a-max seemed hesitant at taking this way, the others weren’t so, as they weren’t going to climb up the steep incline when they could intercept the lane where it comes down to a T-junction with the Whitehorse Lane. Plus it was more sheltered in the valley from the fresh breeze that was more noticeable up above.
The Hares stayed on the official route, & the rest of the Pack on the far more scenic & pleasant trot around the lower field. Indeed they would all meet up at the junction, though the Hares’ decent was temporarily halted by a white van, who stopped to ask for directions [What from Farts! Bet they got lost then– Ed].
Anyhow, from the CHK on the T junction with Whitehorse Lane, the RA was straight up a path running through the long strip of woodland running all the way up to the edge of Datchworth. Dust was found by the RA as he ran within the tree line, meanwhile on the outside of trees were Zing-a-long-a-max, Spotted Dick & Sloppy Seconds, who were not ‘On Trail’ on the parallel path along the edge of the crop field.
Those outside of the tree line would soon make their way in through a gap in the hedge, just by the corner of the Rugby pitch, then a little further up within the tree line a CHK was found. From here Mr. X & Spotted Dick headed out over the small enclosed sports field & were soon out in the adjacent crop field to the north.
Nothing was found by Mr. X & Spotted Dick by the time “On!” was called by Zing-a-long-a-max, who had carried on straight up the tree line path to emerge on to the edge of Datchworth Green.
The RA & Spotted Dick made it back to the Trail & fell in behind Fliptop, Sloppy Seconds & My Lil’, but before Kylie, Fartin Martin, Georgina & ARP emerged out on the Green.
Now Fliptop, Sloppy Seconds & Co all headed blindly out over to the tennis courts, where there was no Dust leading that way over the green! Again it was a few calls from the Senior Hare of “On Back!” that were needed to get them back around to the Trail.
The Dust followed the straight footpath along by the row of cottages lining one edge of the green, Farts was heard to call out “Keep off the pitch!” as the FRBs made their way around the roped off wicket. As the Trail progressed up the green, the RA shouted out an enquiry if there would be a ‘Beer stop’ to the Hare, but the Hare didn’t need to reply as unfortunately the Dust stopped short of the Plough.
A Held CHK was found by the fenced off ‘Whipping Post’ where the RA read out the plaque on it that explained it was last used on two Vagrants were whipped there on 27th of July 1665. As the Pack gathered around to hear this bit of village history, some of the heavy footed Hash were warned to keep off of the ‘Bluebell’ like plants, Sloppy Seconds & Spotted Dick corrected Farts’ warnings as these were Grape Hyacinths. Seems we have some horticulturists amongst the Pack? [Or do we, as Muscari aren’t really Hyacinths but are members of the Lilly family! –Ed] Anyhow the blue flowers weren’t trampled upon.
With Roger the Cabin Boy, Lobby Lobster & Lotti having been sent on a short cut down a lane further back on the Trail, on an easier route for Charlie poor little paws to tread, plus there was no sign of Sludge & Mark E Mark to wait for, the pack were let loose once again..
The Trail resumed, & much to Flip Top’s annoyance, the Hare directed the Pack down the tarmac path on the lane toward the Tennis courts where he & others were next to a little earlier! The Trail now headed westward as the RA & Spotted Dick realised that they too were also on their way toward where they could have come out from the crop fields.
Anyhow, all the miffed FRBs all passed by the Tennis courts & headed down the narrow lane of cottages on the road out of Datchworth, Spotted Dick was spot on when he said that he thought that the Trail would take to the alleyway beside the village hall, but once in the green fields behind he would go astray by wandering off to the west.
As the Pack made their way out behind the village hall, the Hare warned the Pack not to follow Spotted Dick who looked lost, or My Lil’ either as he headed over toward a small wooded area & it appeared as if he was going to scare the local squirrels.
The Trail
seemed to become a bit sparse on this common land, but this was down to Fartin
Marin using the smallest CHKs you can make out of a handful smidgeon of
flour. Fortunately Mr. X’s experience of previous Trails kicked in & he found
the Trail as it headed Northward across the common & then out on up along the
edge of the crop fields.
Hash Hush was observed, the RA indicated he was “On!” by raising his arm as the path was running by the horse paddocks in the adjacent fields to the east, Zing-a-long-a-max ceased blowing his little vuvuzella!
The path moved toward the centre of the field as the field opened up on the right. All Saints Church could be seen in the distance, as it sits prominently on the top of the hill, now the Trail changed tack to run over toward it, by way of a footpath breaking off an acute angle from the CHK on the main path over the crop field to Raffin Green.
The Trail came out to small hall beside All Saints Church, again Mr. X wasted no time as he soon utilized his local knowledge once more, this time to run westward down the tarmac path from the Church grounds to the local School, there the Trail turned right on the narrow, single track Hollybush Lane, but only as far as the corner of a field where the Dust left the lane.
A cut across a field & out of a kissing gate on to Rectory Lane, only a short trot along this lane as the Trail soon made its way back off of the tarmac to lead through more Horse paddocks, here the Pack walked through as there were equines within.
Having passed through a couple of kissing gates, separating the major paddocks, which were subdivided by electric strip fences, the Trail came out on to the edge of the plateau overlooking the vast stretch of open farm land rolling back down to Woolmer Green. This last part of the Trail would stretch the Pack out on the way Inn.
It was a long straight trot down the rock hard path through the crop fields, there was no sight of Mark E Mark or Sludge on this long descent to the village, perhaps Sludge didn’t want to hang about too long in Datchworth? Was this due to him having bad memories of the last enemy action on British soil of the Second World War, when a V1 ‘Doodlebug’ flying bomb hit the fields on the outskirts of the village on 21st March 1945.
The light was just fading as it became slightly overcast, the Dust came in via a clamber over the high green verge & down a few steps to New Road, but at least there was no real need for the use of torches as advised in the email & website.
When the RA entered the Pub, he was greeted by Sludge & Mark E Mark already making up their excuses before he could get a Beer in! Mark E Mark tried to fool the RA into revealing where the Held CHK was, since they hadn’t seen it & both would be questioned on it in the Circle!
Ketch Up, Daddies Sauce & Jaron all arrived back, they cam Inn just on the end of the Tail of the Hash. Sis arrived, & once she was settled in she then had a change of heart & decided to go out on the Trail to the First CHK, this meant that Fliptop had to leave the warmth & comfort of the Bar & chaperone her to the end of the New road & back!
Normality resumed, well almost, ARP collect the subs on the absent Hash Cash’s behalf, while Flip Top went doing the Haberdashers job of flogging Polo-shirts celebrating his 1,000th Run, all while the RA sorted out the Down-Downs even though the Hash Beer was present!
Sis busied herself with sorting out ideas for a notice-board (featuring charity events the Hash may take part in?), a mutts gallery & camp-out options for the 1400th Run. [Blimey that’s a lot of work! –Ed]
The Hares had arranged for several platters of sandwiches, after the sarnies had been devoured, the Circle was called outside.
The GM Toasted the Hash, then it was down to the RA. Everyone seemed to have enjoyed the Trail, it was less than an hour for the FRBs & everyone came in before it was dark. So, Farts & Georgina were awarded their Down-Downs for a great Trail. Georgina had also completed her 10th Herts Hash.
Mark E Mark & Sludge knew that they would be out for their not holding the Held CHK, which wasn’t possible when you don’t see it if you’re off Trail short cutting! There was not much protesting from either of them.
Spotted Dick was called out not just for bragging but for ‘Competitive Running’ against Zing-a-long-a-max. Finally Sis was out after the RA had intercepted a message about the new Fliptop 1,000th Run polo shirts, it seems that the vibrant red colour washes out in the wash, so Sis’s favourite white smalls are now a subtle shade of pink!
For those who have travelled two sad losses in the Hash World……………..
Hi Smartarse and Mr X
Wonkey Donkey from the Yorkshire Hash passed away peacefully yesterday. She
wasn't in any pain or distress and all her family were with her at the end.
Wonkey unfortunately lost her battle with Cancer.
Some of you may or may not remember Wonkey she has been Yorkshire's Haberdash
for the last 3 years and is responsible for all the great T-Shirt designs we
have had including the most recent one at this year's Yorkshire AGPU. She
travelled extensively with the Hash and lived life to the full and it is a sad
loss for all of us.
Please could you pass this email on.
RIP Wonkey Donkey
19th Hole xx
Dear ambassadors,
It is with great sadness that I'm reporting the
death of Don "Fungus Amungus" Markowitz, hasher extraordinaire from Los Angeles
H3, Long Beach H3 and Orange County H3 as well as Brussels 2014 ambassador.
Fungus passed away peacefully at home on March 5th after losing his long battle
to a triple cancer, just a week short of his birthday.
Last time I got in touch with Fungus (via Skype) was at the end of January, on
the day after his farewell run. Although bed-ridden and weak he appeared
mentally strong, happy to still have completed a few trips in 2010 including
Kuching and accepting his impending fate. I guess the fact he was not in
constant pain helped him to keep high spirit. Fungus
started hashing in 1986. I've known him since 1994 and will ever remember him as
a good friend, fun guy, avid traveller and organised person. We first met during
the Los Angeles 666 weekend, billed as a preramble to Rotorua InterHash. On
Saturday trail we had a beer stop outside a major brewery (can't remember its
name) in the middle of nowhere. Still a highway patrol car located us and came
around for investigating why 100 people were hanging out in running gear and
devil outfit outside a (beer) truck. Fungus being in charge went to the car to
smooth things out, still dressed with his devilish horns and tail. Priceless!
Another encounter was during one of his trip to Europe. Fungus
arrived at my place in Brussels just in time to catch the train to Manneke Piss
hash in Antwerp. We ended up at the Jenever joint, a bar serving about 200
Belgian and Dutch spirits. Needless to say it was a late night and we just made
it to the last train back to Brussels. The next day Fungus was interrailing to
Germany so decided to have a much-needed nap on the train. Unfortunately when he
woke up his video camera was gone.
The one I would have liked to see de visu is Fungus going
through US customs after a Red Dress Run in Amsterdam, wearing a T-shirt with
"hashing" and "Amsterdam". Seemingly the officer decided to search his luggage
and got very puzzled when all he found was dirty running gear and red dress
paraphernalia.
Although Don passed away too soon he managed to enjoy life as
much as possible until the very last moment. As he never forgot to mention since
contracting the disease he was lucky to have a loving and caring partner (Moan N
F) by his side all the time.
On Home Fungus!
Higgins