Run No. 1395               16th May 2011

Venue:                          Farmer’s Boy

Beer:                              Buntingford, Harvey’s

Location:                      Brickendon

Hare(s):                         Ketch Up

Runners:                       18

Virgins:                            0

Visitors:                           0

Newies:                           0                            

Hounds:                          2

Après Hashers:             0

Total:                             22

Membership:               Remembering an old friend!

 It was a very good turnout this week, perhaps the sad news about Windmill’s passing drew a few more along on what was a very nice evening.  The Pack gathered in the car park across from the Pub, one of the few that has a rail to hitch your horses to & have a drink!

The GM had been taking advantage of the fact that Sis had gone to see her Mum in nearby Bayford & he was left to have a pint before the rest of the Pack started to arrive.  This week saw the return of Sloppy Seconds from his trip Down-under to In Zid [Apologies to any Kiwi’s reading! – Ed] also back was Porky Pie, Spotted Dick & Custard.

The only person who seemed to be missing as the hour hand came up to Seven o’ clock was the Hare.  Fliptop, My Lil’ & Sludge all had a look about to see if there was nay Trail out there, all three reported back with the same conclusion that there wasn’t one out there as they had failed to spot any start out there!

The Hare did arrive & contradicted those who had tried to get a sneaky peek at the start of the Hash! Eventually the GM got around to finishing his pint & calling the Circle together, once those on their mobile phones had finished & the Nutters had all made it around form the car park to the verge side garden area, the GM asked for the Pack to observe a minutes silence in memory of Windmill.

After an impeccable minute’s silence, normal service resumed & the Hare was brought forward, he explained what the Pack could expect to find out on the Trail.  Fartin Martin for one was happy to hear that there were short cuts available for those who stuck with the Hare.  Then those who thought that there was no Trail out there were directed around by the green toward Brickendon Golf Club, & proved wrong!

The FRBs of Sludge, Skip, Mr. X, Mark E Mark all headed off down the lane by the Club House entrance but they had failed to keep an eye on things & they were soon running out of Dust, a quick look at through the ornate entrance to the Golf Club was soon dismissed as a sign on the red-brick pillar informed that there was no access to the footpath from this part of the course.

So, it was back up around on to the green to find the rest of the Pack were now making their way around the pond & on to the footpath that runs across the fairways, a sign informed the Hash to stick to the route marked out by the black & blue posts.  T-B-T was trying his best to get a tune out of the Hash Horn, but a few out of tune squeaks was all that could alert the Pack that the Trail went this way!

This dog-leg path made its way away southward from Brickendon Grange to run along beside a small wooded area, then branching off to the west & over two fairways to the edge of Morley Grove & then up to a kissing gate in the wire fence out in to a crop field south of the Golf Course.  The Trail now led along by Blackfan wood, the path was ran through lush green grass on what was a long trot until it reached the next CHK on the edge of White Stubbs lane, unsurprisingly it was a Held CHK!

The Keenies waited long enough for My Lil’, ARP, No Eye Deer & Hyena to catch up to them before resuming the search for the Trail.  The Hare wasn’t going to go this far out as he was pushing Jaron around in his off-road buggy!  Fliptop choose to search westward along White Stubbs lane at the bottom of Blackfan wood, but he would soon be back, meanwhile Spotted Dick, Sludge, Porky Pie, Sloppy Seconds & most of the others preferred the look of the footpath across the lane from the CHK that runs down from the farmyard, the RA on the other hand said that there was a footpath further to the east that cuts back to the edge of the Golf Course.

After a fair bit of time was wasted with no Trail found, calls of “On! On!” emanated from the east & the Pack were soon following on behind Mark E Mark & Hyena as the Dust was found in the direction the RA predicted earlier.  Mark E Mark & Louis now led the way on down to the next CHK down by the northeast corner of the Old Grove part of Wormley wood.

The RA was still convinced that the Trail would head off up Devil’s lane, a footpath that runs along the southeast edge of the tree-line on the edge of the Golf Course.  It was a nice shady trot along on a path that turned to the east near the end & came out to another Held CHK, this one being at the end of the path where it merges on to a bend in Pembridge lane.

Once the back markers of the Keenies were at the CHK the Trail resumed, the major consensus was to turn right & to run around the bend & then peel off in to end of Claypits wood, a blob of Flour saw the Keenies of Mr. X, Porky Pie, Sludge, Zing-a-long-a-max, Spotted Dick amongst those who ran off into the woodlands after falling for this strategically placed marker.  Having made their way quite some way into the wood they realized that the Trail had disappeared & after calls of “On!” were heard from back on the lane they turned back.

On their return, Zing-a-long-a-max complained to the RA that Hyena had called him ‘Silly Bollocks!’ which led the RA to being informed by Zing-a-long-a-max he has ‘Far more intelligent testicles than Hyena!’  This was duly noted by the RA for the Circle.

The Trail was found to continue along the lane before taking the next path off to the left, the FRBS had to run by Psycho, Party Animal, Flanders, Farts & Georgina to run in to the woodland.  Now the Trail headed in to the Broxbourne wood section of the sprawling acres of native woodland. On the way in to the heart of the wood Spotted Dick explained that some parts of the wood belonged to a Turkish restaurant owner & the rest was managed by Woodland Trust.

A good use of the manmade hardcore paths led the Pack around on a looping route, on the way the Hash passed by the wooden tree carving of a cowman on the look out for his bovines, behind him was a wicker construction of a pen that had two carved wooden cow heads on two posts!  It now resembled a butchers’, let’s hope our resident veggie Zing-a-long-a-max didn’t take offence to this!

The Pack were led on by the path off to the left that was marked as the ‘Carved walkway’ where some hooligans with chainsaws have made allsorts of figures out of trees!  Anyhow, the path led on to a car park, the very one that Paxo wanted to set a picnic run from a long time ago but it was changed as he said that there was a lot of ‘Dogging’ activity taking place there & one local man had attacked those involved with a stick.

As strange as it seems, the RA admitted at the time, all those years ago, that he didn’t know what ‘Dogging’ was & believed it was groups of dog walkers who were being attacked by a local with a stick, not people meeting up for sex in the wood!  My Lil’ confirmed that this practise still occurs around there as he has to clear up what’s left behind. [Too much information there! – Ed]

Back to the Trail & as the path arced around by a part of pine plantation, the RA’s attention was caught by a lot of noise coming from within, the cracking of fallen branches became louder as Sludge led Porky Pie from out of the undergrowth.  The RA wasn’t going to take any heed of Sludge’s well rehearsed excuses as Sludge escaped the scratchy branches & took to the duckboards over what is normally the wet area of the woodland.

Many decided that the going on the duck-boards was not for running on, as the wooden slats were covered in chicken-wire.  Now, the galvanized fencing material may be of advantage for walking over these wet lands in the muddy winter conditions but are not as conducive for running over in the heat of spring/summer they were a little bit dicey!

Ahead of the RA allsorts of nonsense was happening, he would stroll up to the end of the duckboards to find that Sludge was carrying a few more wounds than the scratches he obtained short cutting out of the pine trees!  Sludge was now sporting a fair bit of ‘claret’ around his arms & torso after a tumble on the duck-boards.  He was not impressed when the RA enquired what had happened to him, Sludge’s reply was “If you were running then you would have seen what happened!”

A few questioned why Flander’s wasn’t attending to her ‘Wifely Duties’ & was not there to patch her Hubby up?  She was till back with Psycho & Party Animal & form what the rest around Sludge had gained form his conversation he would not get much sympathy from her! [Or anyone else on the Hash! - Ed]

The Trail now led on through to the bottom of Cowheath part of the massive woodland, No Eye Deer was now getting confused as to whether the Hash had been around on top of them selves or was the woodland that large, Mr. X explained that it was a large wood & there was no way that they had crossed over Trail that they had already run.

From a CHK on a path branching off northward toward Bourne wood, yet another part of the woodland, as short cut was marked by Daddies sauce who was going to lead the SCBs on the direct route up to the Inn Trail.   The Majority elected to take the longer loop out to the Inn Trail, & as the Keenies continued through one of the old cattle gates, some realised that they had gone slightly astray, so ARP & No Eye Deer went back to make sure the proper Trail was more obvious to those behind.

Mr. X asked Sloppy Seconds about his trip down to In Zid, especially what Christchurch (a place the RA knows pretty well) was like after the earthquake.  He also discovered that Sloppy Seconds had managed to get a Hash in while he was down there!

The Hash were led up to the major southwest to northeast track through the centre of the woodland, the going was pretty tough as this wide track had two really deep ruts all the way along as it rose & dropped over its undulating course s it came in to the edge of Bramble’s wood.  The Trail turned as it reached the lowest point of the woodland, now the Dust took to the path that climbed up toward Monk’s Green.

A CHK was found up in the wood behind the farm buildings, the Dust was fund still with in the wood & up ahead of the RA the Keenies could be heard calling “On!” these were accompanied by the odd off-key squeaky toots from T-B-T on the Hash Horn!  [Perhaps Two Timer should give T-B-T lessons on how to play it? – Ed]

Anyhow, the path made its way along the inside of the Bourne Wood part f the woodland, the light was on the gloomy side amongst the trees & the bright rays of light from the setting sun made it hard to see where to run & avoid any ‘pitfalls’!  Suddenly, up ahead of the RA a particularly horrid sounding squeal, like someone strangling a cat, emanated from the Hash Horn.

In the shaded wood, with bright beams of light blinding the RA he could just make out a shape on the floor, T-B-T had managed to trip on a tree root & was found in a heap in the leaf litter by the RA!  Mr. X helped T-B-T up & said that as they weren’t far from the end he should walk along with him & Sloppy Seconds.

The Trail made its way by the Celtic Harmony Centre, warning signs of ‘Archery taking place’ on the other side of the fence by the woodland perimeter could be seen, then there were a few wicker bosses with pictures of the outlines of animals on the were spotted.

The Trail came out of the wood on the footpath out through Bourne Orchard, this path was out in the open but the ground was fairly rutted by hoof prints as it ran on by the old pond & then out by the homes on the spur road off of Brickendon lane.  The Pack passed by the old ornate out-building that houses a water tank for the largest of the homes on its own on the right, this little red brick structure looks as if it belongs to a railway station.

The On Inn was found as the Pack made their way around to the drive way, from here it was a simple case of following the Brickendon lane back up around to the Pub.

The Pack enjoyed a couple of drinks, where the main topic of conversation was the sad loss of Windmill, then it turned to the fallers on today’s Trail as Sludge was spotted emerging from the toilets having patched himself up. 

The Pack was were called outside for the Circle, this was held over the road from the Pub, but the GM wanted it moved further around to out of sight as “People know me around here!” he bleated, which was ignored by the RA!

The Hare was rewarded for a good Bash Trail set on a Bike!  Porky Pie & Sludge were called out for their short cutting through the pine trees (as well as Sludge’s falling over); Flanders was put for not tending to her Hubby’s wounds; T-B-T was out for his falling over; Zing-a-long-a-max & Hyena was out for comparing the IQ of their testes?

Back in the Pub, after the Circle, ARP was proud to show off pictures on her phone, of Porky Pie in his new uniform as he passed his flight training.  He starts with a certain locally based airline this week, for those who missed the picture, we may reproduce it in a future Trash!